Tuesday, 29 September 2009

Lets Watch Guin Saga: Part 13

Captain: Yeah, bad news... Marius is kinda... dead. Also we only have 8000 men left, and against an army of like 4000 monkeys that is a horrendous loss... Even if you win you'll probably have to retire in disgrace.

Amn: Oh wow... I'm actually pretty emotionally devastated at that news.... I can't believe Marius is dead.
Astreas: *Shes weak! Now's your chance* I'll find those dastardly monkeys!

Monkey Ninja: Wow, I hope no one finds our brightly hidden hiding place.

Astreas: Haha! I totally found them!

Astreas: Alright, now that we've met back up with the army we'll be really quiet and sneak up on them.
Captain: Wait, you want an entire army, a third of which is on horseback, to sneak up on something?
Astreas: Exactly, just cover your horses hooves and weapons with cloth.
Captain: Ok, there's no way there's enough spar cloth for that, and besides even with that the shock waves of so many moving people and horses would be felt miles away!
Astreas: We're so sneaky.

Istavan: Hey, wake up. Guess what?
Rinda: Err... Huh?
Istavan: The Mongols totally found out where we are, so I reckon we should-
Rinda: Oh god! We have to warn everyone!

Istavan: .... Oh! Oh yeah! That... That was totally what I was gonna suggest... You go do that... and... I'll do some recon... I will totally come back, no lying.

Istavan: Hoho! I'll come back? Oh Ista, your such a card.

Remus: Hey, is it just me, or did Istavan just ditch us?
Monkey Cheif: Oh no! We're being killed!

Remus: No seriously you guys, I don't think hes coming back.
Astreas: Haha! Guess who found the twins!

Astreas: F***!

Rinda: Yes! I told you those lessons weren't pointless Remus!

Rinda: No! My monkey! That thing took ages to train!

Remus: I can't run anymore....

Rinda: Yes thats it.... Remind me why I hate you.

Istavan: Hey guys! I totally didn't abandon you!

Rinda: We didn't say-

Istavan: Good cause I didn't.

Astreas: Your still no match for me- Ahh! Something shiny went in my eye!

Istavan: Haha! I've got you now!

Astreas: Fool! I can become invisible!

Istavan: Holy shit! Where'd he go?

Remus: Hey... Whats that?

Rinda: Could it be...?

Guin: Sup guys, what I miss?

Guin: Check out my new gang! I was thinking of calling us the bone crushers!

Amn: Don't falter men! We still outnumber them! (She actually says this, note it as you see what happens next)

Soilder: Wait, why is he gonna call them the bone crushers?

Soilder: AHHHH!

Soilder: Oh no! No no no!

Soilder: GAHHHL!

Soilders: Holy shit!


Soilder: Don't worry men! Hold your ground! We can-

Soilder: OH MY GOD! AHHH!

White Captain: Okay Princess, we seriously need to get out of here.

Mage: Yeah, we really should.

Amn: Is that what our crystal told you?

Mage:... Yeah sure, whatever, let just get the f*** out of here!

White Captain: Glrag!

Kar Mos: Hey guys... Whats going on out there? Stop messing around!

Kar Mos: .... Guys?

Soilder: Run away!

Guin: I'm so awesome.

Giant Chief: Hey, just thinking, why don't you become our king Guin?

Guin: .... Yes..... Yeesssss.... YEEEESSSSSSS!

Friday, 25 September 2009

Lets Watch Guin Saga: Part 12

Guin: Urrr.... Oh man... Where am I now?

Lagon Girl: Hey. Are you an evil spirit?

Guin: Do I look like an evil- No wait... Stupid question. *Think, there must be a way of earning their trust... I'll have to use all of my cunning...*

Guin: Hey! Find the strongest guy and tell him, I will kick his ass.

Marius: Alright, were being sent as the advanced guard since everyone else sucks.
Istavan: Did I mention I wasn't a spy?

Marius: Yes! God, shut up about that already.

Guin: Nice pad you guys got.

Guin: So you guys must be in charge, well your god sent me to guide you on your proper path... Even though I have no idea what the complexities of your faith are, I'm just gonna take some wild guess and hope you do what I say.

Old Man: No..... No...... I don't think you were sent by our god, Akura... So... No.

Doudou: Look, lets just kill this... thing and move on.

Lagon Girl: Aren't you gonna fight him?

Doudou: What? Why would I have to fight-

Guin: Oh, he won't cause hes scared. I mean back home they call me Leopard guy, you should call this guy Chicken guy... On the account he has no balls.

Doudou: GRRRR! I accept your challenge.

Guin: Hell yeah, this is gonna be so much fun.

Guin: Tiger Uppercut!

Doudou: Lagon headlock!

Guin: Gerrr! Panther Kick!

Doudou: Gah!

Doudou: Haha! I got you now!

Guin: Ah! My organs!

Guin: Gaahh- What the hell? Why is the shiny plot thing popping out of me?

Old man: Oh shit! He was sent by Akura!

Guin: Awesome, now you have to do what I say! Dahaha!

Marius: Ah! What the hell is this?

Istavan: Haha! I was a spy!

Marius: What? You were? You son of a-AAHHH!

This last scene is actually rather long, but its a very good scene and I didn't want to make fun of it too much. I really liked Marius, and the mongol side takes such a blow from his loss, none of the new characters come close to being as cool as he was... or frankly as interesting.

Its just another reason among many of why I dislike Istavan. I mean, he sucks so bad he had to cheat in order to kill Marius.... Weak.