Monday, 29 June 2009

The Weekend

The noise of the alarm run straight through Pete's head as he slowly awoke to the new day. Holding his head like a fish bowel Pete tried to subdue the growing headache getting ready to make his morning horrible. As the beeping of his alarm clock grew louder Pete tried to pick himself up out of his bed to reach it until he finally gave it a sluggish hit on its head. While silecne filled his room he could still feel and hear the beeping in his head.

It was Sunday and Pete had a hangover.

Unable to get back to sleep Pete slowly tore himself away from his bed to begin his morning routines. A cold shower would hopefully wake him up and take away the dark rings under his eyes, and while it did wake him up he instantly regretted doing it. Walking to his sink dressed in his towel Pete began using almost every tooth cleaning device known to man, his dentist had laid what could only be described as a verbal smackdown on him a few weeks ago. Cleaning himself up, brushing his short brown hair back, putting his contacts in and finally spraying himself to rid the bad smells of yesterday, all these things had become his mornings. A part of him deeply wished you didn't have to do all these things in the morning.

Getting dressed Pete went out to collect his laundry, then to meet his friend for a cup of coffee.

"Yo! Pete! Over here!" Hours later with his chores out of the way Pete looked forward to talking with his long-time friend Robert. When they first met Robert had specifically chosen this place for them to meet up and chat about random things, he said it was because there was once this hilarious story in the newspaper about this cafes tea getting spiked.

"Hey Robert..." Giving Pete a big grin Robert pointed to him.
"Heh, yeah... You really did hit the drinks hard last night didn't you?" Ordering a strong black coffee Pete sighed, he definitely was not in the mood for sweet things.
"You know you could have stopped me..."
"Nah, you seemed like you were having fun... especially when you started making out with Mary" Rubbing his temples Pete groaned out loud.
"Oh god... That did happen didn't it?" A waitress approached their table and handed Rober a cheese cake.
"Sure did... Thanks dear... Anyway, what’s the problem? You've always liked her?"
"I know I know... Its just... Its weird at the moment, ok? Besides it was hardly real... we were both off our heads" Taking a bite out of his cake Robert looked up at Pete doubtfully.
"Whatever you say man- whoa... speak of the devil" Turning around Pete saw her, Mary. Of course she was here though, she knew Pete had lunch here every Sunday and no doubt she wanted to talk "Well.... I'd better get going" Pete looked over to him with a little panic in his eyes.
"What? You can't leave me now?"
"I can... And I have, good luck" with a wave of his hand Robert sleeked off outside of the cafe.
"I'll get you for this...."

As Mary sat down opposite of him an awkward silence descended on the pair, Pete going so far as to avoid eye contact with her.

"So....Umm... Hi"
"Hi Mary..." Again the two seemed stuck, unable to break the barrier of silence completely. The waitress came over to them and handed Pete his coffee, which he immediately took a sip out of "Gah, that's bitter...."
"You should just do normal coffee ya know, black coffee hardly works any better..."
"I guess" taking a spoon Pete began to mix a little sugar into his coffee.
"Look about yesterday... I'm sorry... Y-you know how it is at party's when you've had a bit to much to drink" Looking up at her Pete just felt like he'd been dumped, but he tried to hide his regret best as he could.
"Yeah... I understand... It was my fault too... don't worry about it"
"I am sorry... Its... Its nothing to do with you... Its just your my boss and its awkward and it never works out..."
"Of course... Just forget about it" she smiles at him a little and Pete's heart begins to ache slightly.
"Ok then... I... I guess I'll see you tomorrow" With that she walked off and Pete sighed quietly to himself.


Pete wasn't really looking forward to work today, he never did on Mondays. The endless repetition was going to get to him one day, and his frustrations over Mary would maybe get the better of him one day. But at least he had his morning routine he supposed.

Fresh and clean Pete stepped into the middle of his room "Well, lets go to work then" and in an instant the room is enveloped in black fire. Stepping out of the flame wearing a purple leather suit, a mighty cape flowing behind him, Pete put on his trademark grin. Walking down the marble corridor of darkness his monsters cheered his name.

"Long live Lord Hextor!" striding into his throne room Hextor extended his hand outward and and summoned his staff to his side.

"Evil ro-call!" Five black pyres burst from the floor revealing his foul minions.
"Lady Lighting!"
"Galak the Dark Knight!"
"Mombrose the Beast Master!"
"And the Kradalack Brothers!"

Sitting atop his mighty obsidian throne Hextor called out in a deep booming voice "What are we gonna do today my horrific minions!"
"Were going to take over the world!"
"And what if we can't?"
"We'll watch it burn!"

Cackling madly Hextor thought up his next evil scheme, wondering at the back of his mind if Lady Lightning would ever go out with him.

Monday, 22 June 2009

Demon Knight

Running down the dark stony corridors Gelren and his friends just hoped they weren't too late. They had begun their quest to stop the mad wizard Detroylus almost three months ago now, and despite set back after set back Gelren and his friends had finally tracked him down to an abandoned castle.

It was here in the mountains the dark wizard Lofrok opened a gate to a demon realm with the aim of taking over the continent, and while he failed it was feared that Detroylus would now succeed. Gelren and his friends the chosen knights of Derlos were now their last hope.

Bursting through a rotten door with his sword in hand Gelren came into a large room its ceiling reaching so high he could barely see it, and while the rest of the castle was damp and falling apart this room almost seemed brand new. A long table covered in exotic food sat at the center of the room, with the mad wizard and his priests sitting quite leisurely around it.

"Ah your finally here... We've been expecting you" Almost immediately flying into a rage Gelren darts across the room swinging his sword high, but before he can even reach the table Detroylus waves his hand and sends Gelren crashing to the floor.
"Gah!... I'll kill you! You monster!" Sitting up from his chair the mad mage looks down on him with a grin pained on his face.
"Now now boy, no need to get too excited... As for the rest of you... I wouldn't try anything... Right now I'm more powerful then I ever was... Hehehe" With his face being pressed to the floor Gelren still manages to scowl up at him.
"You... You can't have opened the portal..." Tipping his head back to release a mighty roar of laughter the mad wizard shouts with glee.
"Hahaha! Fool! I statred the ritual hours ago... Nothing can stop it now! In a short amount of time the portal will open and a 100'000 unstoppable demons will bow to my command" Looking past the wizard Gelren can make out the bronze gate at the back of the room, its cracks beginning to glow with a sickly purple light.
"You fool! You can't possibly hope to control them!"
"Thats where your wrong! You see I've improved the ritual vastly, and not only can I know use the gates power but the Demons will have no choice but to follow me without question... Truly the perfect army! Hahaha!"

As if on cue the terrible gate began to shake, its ancient binding chains falling apart into useless rust. Slowly a terrible wailing noise began to fill the room and Gelren thought he'd go mad if it continued any longer, and then with a terrible crash the doors swung open. With an awful scream a dark figure stepped out from the gate and howled a cry of pain into the air, and as the purple hue began to dissipated Gelren could make out the figure more. It looked strangely human.

With a deep yawn a man stepped away from the gate and looked around the room as if in a daze, , his entire body and all his clothes looked like they had bee covered in a layer of brass, his chain shirt looked like it was made from a bronze and even the sword by his side looked chipped and rusty. What was strangest however was in the few places you could see skin the man seemed to have patches or pieces of deep red that looked more like leather then actual skin, a triangle of this red 'flesh' went from below his jawline to the top of his left cheek.

Trying to brake from the stunned silence Destroylus looked the man up and down and said in a nervous voice "Urmm... Are... Are you a Demon?" stepping forward slightly the man looks towards the mad wizard with a confused look in his eyes.
"What? No of course not..." The man seems to finally get a grip on himself and he spy's the food on the table and for a moment he looks like he might cry "Outta of my way!" Grabing the back of a chair one of the mad wizards priests is sitting in the man flings it effortlessly away, and the man and the chair brake apart against the rock hard wall.

Slowly the pressure on Gelren begins to fade as the mad wizard is distracted by the sudden appearance of this strange man, but for now he pretends that hes still stuck to the floor.

"I'm... Hmm... This... This is the gate of Rotylan, correct? 100,000 demons and all that?" Getting increasingly nervous the priests begin to huddle behind their master as he asks the man his question.
"Mhrp ghelm, Yeah... Yome.... That's right" Stuffing his face full of food the man barely answers the mad wizards question, but with a sigh of relief he turns back to Gelren and his friends.
"Do you hear that! Ha! Soon my demons will-"
"Nope" pausing the mad wizard turns back to the man.
"...I'm sorry?" Taking a last bite of some strange meat the man looks up at the wizard.
"I said nope... They anit coming"
"What... What do you mean there not coming? Why not!"
"Cause their dead"
"W...Wh.... How?!" Wiping his lip with his sleeve the man looks at the mad wizard with a slight scowl.
"I killed them"

-Will be finshed soon-

Saturday, 20 June 2009

Rant Time!

Before I carry on with my (addition) to prototype, and it will start adding things to the story I assure you faithful reader, I felt that I haven't complained about stuff for awhile now. So I'm going to rant about a few topics that irk me... or something, I dunno where this will go.

Land Rovers

I swear to god if I people don't stop buying land rovers then people will start dieing. But James, how will people traverse those bumpy roads or wade through those forests? Well those people are fine, if you have dirt on your four by four you are using it in the correct manner.


If you live in a very urban environment that lacks bumpy roads, dirt roads, forests, jungles, angry tribes men and dinosaurs then there is absolutely no reason you should have one. I mean for the love of all that is sensible there huge! You don't need that! STOP IT!


Huh, that sounds like an interesting title, and whats this? Its made by the guys who did Devil May Cry? Well then no doubt it will be go-


*Sigh* I'm getting pretty sick of shit like this. Yes the female anatomy is beautiful, perhaps even hot if you wish to be crude. But when it comes to games there is line of how much obvious porn I'm willing to put up with. Now dear reader the trouble is a number of things, and for me I suppose the biggest one is when so much focus is made on design (As in looks) rather then the heart of a product the story will suffer for it.

A good example would be this anime I watched awhile ago with dragons in it (I'm a sucker for dragons...)... It had a very promising start and I was pretty psyched for it, but then it just fell into cliche... then into stupid things like the design of the girls and long story short I quit watching it half way through.

Huh, if you haven't looked at the videos for this game I guess you may not know what I'm getting worked up about. Get this, Her clothes are made of hair (Which is gross) and she can transform her hair into attacks which make her naked. Now if you think this is a good idea your either an idiot or a teenager... in which case your already an idiot so its fine.

I mean if you look this game up and see the amount of work they've put into the presentation of their lead character alone.... Its retarded... Its frankly time they could have used to make a better game about giant robots ripping each other apart for better equipment.

This sort of thing happens all the time in Japan, and is one of the things that really pisses me off. Women in games, manga and anime usually get the short end of the stick and tend to be mainly used as sex symbols (Sometime as very creepy ones). I have appositely no respect for characters such as these and frankly try to blank them as best I can, because they are like sugarless sweets to me... a mockery of what it really should be.

Now granted the bosses look cool and such but I'm getting this feeling that the whole game will be like some kind of giant fools gold ending... It just seems like pulling off silly combos for the sake of silly combos... and is trying to look to cool by itself and not give the player a chance to shine with their own style.
Also the story seems to be about her being the last witch or something... Oh cause we've never come across that before (This is the same as their last character Dante for gods sake... Where have they put their brain?) and shes looking for her kidnapped daughter (If you haven't caught on this can be her only motivation since shes a women and a mother... else she would clearly stay in the kitchen otherwise.... Gah).

Gonna have to brake it to you Japan, but when a women has a child, those hips? They go to hell. Plus I'd be seriously concerned if I was a little girl and my mother was a prostitute (Also I'd be worried I was a little girl...).

Valkyria Chronicles

Good game, if you have a PS3 look it up, it also has an anime that stays mostly to the same story but changes the odd thing here and there.... then becomes retarded.

Spoilers be ahead dear reader!

Now if you've finished the game you'll know its a solid game with a cheesy but ok story. However every now and again it likes to throw a curve ball to mix things up and that's when the story shines.

First of all you can't really see these plot twists coming, I played the game with a friend and he didn't see them coming either so there!

Anyway the big deal is about the Darcsens and there suffering during the war. Now for anyone using the clear comparison to the second world war the Darcsens are basically the Jews (As A side note I don't like comparing story's against their inspirations, I prefer to lock them away from that and judge them by their own merits). The big twist is that the princess of your nation is a Darcsens! Now the reason this is a big deal is because it sheds light on ancient secrets and how history as they know it is wrong. I enjoyed this scene alot because a good story needs a good history to aid it, make it more real, and this scene uncovered some of the mystery of the nations past and left me with a good feeling.

In the anime it seems they may have taken that out...

Excuse me for a moment.


Thank you for waiting.

I don't think I need to explain why this has annoyed me, if you've read enough of my blog you should have a bit of an understanding why I enjoy deep plots, not stupid little dips where my feet barely get wet. Taking out such a major plot point... just... kills a bit more of the story... why would you do that? Why would you do that when its clear you don't need to?

I need to stop talking to Japan because hes an idiot.

Thursday, 18 June 2009

Kavrose's Sky Platoon

"You know those will be the death of you sarge"

Kavrose looked back to his solders, taking his cigarette of jinka leaves out from his mouth, and gave them his usual disdainful stare "Keep talking like that and I'll throw you off this damn thing" his men laughed at that, they always did appreciate a good threat here and there.

Turning back to the front of the ship Kavrose could only find a cruel beauty in the clouds as they flew by him. He'd watched the same scene hundreds of times yet this time it felt so different, so unique in a world of clouds. Breathing in the bitter smoke from his cigarette seemed to be the only thing that kept him from bursting into bloody poems.

Looking to his left he could see the other platoons riding in their own Sky Killers, back home the brass liked to call them Swan Skimmers but the solders knew what they really were. Spears of the sky launched from the military sky ship the Yenhan the Sky Killers cut their way through the clouds at astounding speeds, if not for the platoons mage holding a shield around the ship they'd all be torn to pieces.

Bursting through a cloud Kavrose could finally make out his target, the terrible Diomos. Already it had reached the front line and torn one of his sides frigates clean in half with blue fire.

Right on time.

Tossing his cigarette over the side he yells out to his men "Alright, gear up and get ready you dogs, breaks over"they chuckle at him and he knows why, they've been ready for this their whole lives.

Tightening his suit Kavrose looked back at the Diomos and felt awed by its horrible size. Shaped like a long jagged rock the Diomos seemed like a small moon rather then one of the many ships tearing up the sky's, if it didn't go down then the losses his side would take would be terrible. He would never let that happen, his men would never let that happen.

As the Sky Killer quickly began to approach its target Kavrose could make out the blue crystals covering the Diomos's exterior, they really were alot bigger then he had imagined, he could already hear the whirl of blue fire coming towards them. If it wasn't trying to kill him he would have thought the site of it splitting past their shield to be quite dazzling.

"Ohp, there goes the red tigers" Looking out of the corner of his eye Kavrose could see one of the other Sky Killers burst into flame and fall apart into the abyss. He only hopped that his platoons mage could handle the stress. Moments later the ship lost its blue hue and the Sky Killer was passed the worst of it.

"Its jumping time boys" Stepping backwards into his space Kavrose placed his feet in little grooves and bent his knees, shifting his weight carefully like he'd done a hundred times before. The men behind him were all in place, stupidly grinning like usual.

There is a snapping noise and now their in the air. Past the shield Kavrose could finally feel the wind pushing against his face fiercely, stretching his limbs out as far as he can he lets the feeling of total freedom wash over him. But Kavrose has a mission, and he has trained much for this day. Pulling out his lancaar he shoots the beam tipped rope seemingly at thin air.

With the sound of tiny thuds his platoon grapple themselves onto the Diomos's shield and climb their way up it. Using the tip of their Lancaar's they form up around their mage and wait until his incantations are finished. One of the men laughs and calls out to the others "Hey guys, Gerheld fell off!"the rest of them laugh and exchange some quick banter about silly old Gerheld, whilst Kavrose just rolls his eyes.

Nearby a beam of blue fire shoots out from the Diomos and one of the other platoons resting on the shield are instantly incinerated. The men pause for a moment before one of them brakes the silence "Huh... Wasn't that Yurell's platoon?... Hey does that mean I have the highest score now? Haha!" The men laugh again and Kavros feels like their in awfully good spirits today.

Below them a green triangle covered in runes begins to grow around the invisible shield and the men begin to tense up. What look like cracks in the sky below them begin to appear within the triangle until finally the center of it shatters creating a small opening. Almost immediately some of the men take out their specialised lancaars and clamp it around the hole in the shield, and with a loud crash it shoots a line all the way to the Diomos.

Crowding around the gap the men one by one use their metal gauntlets on their left hand to grip the line and abseil down it. The defenders manning the outside ports of the Diomos had begun to shoot at them from their defences, Kavros momentarily considers this to be rude but not unexpected.

Part 2-

Going down the line himself Kavrose sees some of his men go limp fall off as tiny blue spheres tear through them, and for a brief moment he expects to be hit himself any second. The shot never comes however and he lets go of the line and uses his momentum to land in one of the many ports of the Deimos. All around him a bloody combat of swords has begun as his men try and secure the landing for the platoon, wasting no time Kavrose unsheathes his own and leaps into the fray.

As soon as the mage finally makes his way down Kavrose yells a command at his troops to push forward. Taking up an arrow formation with the mage at the center Kavrose's men make a bloody push to one of the many doors of the Deimos. Sparing a short thought for the few men he'll leave behind to hold off the defenders Kavrose joins the formation and enters the Deimos.

His men had been lucky so far but now it came to the hard part of their mission and Kavrose was no looking forward to it. On most sky ships the interior corridors were small and suffocating so that they didn't require many defenders to block an attackers path, and the Deimos was no different. Kavrose was muling over the worst possible outcomes when one his men shouted the one thing he didn't want to hear.


With no where to hide or run away to the solders only choice was to push forward, even as an ark of red lighting skipped along the walls toward them. In a matter of seconds all his men at the front began to spasm and fall to the floor as red began to cover over them, but luck was still on Kavrose side. As his men fell over the platoons mage hopped over them and pointed his hand down the hallway and a thin green blade of light shot down the corridor and cut the defenders in front of them apart.

Not wasting this opportunity Kavrose yelled a war cry out and lead the rest of his men into the defenders. Piling into them with swords and punches the defenders faltered and began to flee, opening the way to the platoons goal.

Down the seeminly endless corridors of the Deimos Kavrose platoon found themselves reaching the back of the terrible ship until finally they came across the door they were looking for. Bursting through the door Kavrose had a good look at the final room and found it to be everything he had expected. Directly in front of him were a line of defenders with their guns, terrible inventions that attached to the ship in order to use its power as a small weapon, and behind them the spinning blue core for one of the Deimos's mighty engines.

With a flash of blue fire and the sound of metal on flesh the fight was brutally short, but Kavrose's men had won. Limping to the control panel for the engine Kavrose calmly shuts it down and the low humming of the engine begins to dissipate.

Releasing a sigh he turns back to his men and smiles "Huh... Looks like there are about ten of you... that's a good eighth of what we started with... I'm surprised we did so well"

"You know it.... boss" One of his men had that same stupid grin on, even as he was puking up blood.
"Hows the mage?"
"Got shot through the shoulder sir, but he says hes got at least one more good spell in him"
"Good... Have the men pick up the guns then... may as well make use of them while were here"

Forming his men up so they were aiming at the door Kavrose felt relieved. He and the other boys had prepared for this moment there entire lives, and suddenly all the sleepless break braking nights of training were worth it. So long as about half the platoons reached their own engines then the Deimos would slowly begin to descend, taking it out of the fight for a good five years. In that time his side might even take one of their colony ships, and his family's would be safe for a little longer.

Happy that his life as a solider in the endless war meant something Kavrose took out a cigarette from his pouch and offered it to the man next to him.

"Oh sorry sir... I don't smoke... Its bad for ya" Lighting the cigarette and taking in its bitter taste Kavrose scowls at the man.

"God, I hope they kill you first"

Hype Machine: New Anime

Well kiddies its that time of the year again when new series of anime begin to show up from the land of the rising sun. As usual there's quite a few new shows on offer so I'll make this short and sweet, but I must warn you dear reader... I don't think I'm gonna like this season that much.

Tokyo Magnitude 8.0

This one looks like it could be interesting, one of those "What if Tokyo gets hit by a horrific disaster" storeys. These ones tend to be more about the characters personal experiences rather then what happens to the city as a whole, but that's all right. After all these story's are the ones people can connect with and be like "Yeah I would totally be a dick in this situation".


No Japan, No. We've danced this dance before and I'll not be doing it again.

A story about a detective, a virus researcher, a freelance reporter, a cat mascot and a young man brought together by the strange events in the city leading to blah blah blah.

Can you feel the stupid?

Element Hunters

I'm actually interested in this one cause it sounds like it could be crazy funky.

Chemicals have been disappearing from the earth causing no end of problems until its learned there going to another earth through a dimensional wall that can only be used by people with flexible minds.

Now that is mental story telling.

Spice and Wolf 2
Now I did watch like the first couple of episodes of the first season but... Hmmmm... I'm just not a big fan of slice of life story's... If I wanted to see people living ordinary lives I'd just go outside.

Also I wasn't really in the mood for the slowly growing romance. I've found I prefer story's that introduce romance like half-way through rather then trying to get the audience to mope about it right off the bat... Of course anime doesn't do this anyway.


Its about vampires. Honestly pretty much any story, regardless from which continent, tends to fall into the same patterns.

It also seems to be about interchangeable story's. I hate this. Since its anime this side story's will be very short and if there interesting there will be no where near enough time to explore them.

Umineko no Kara Koro ni (That was not fun typing)

Hell yeah.

The head of a wealthy family is dead and its time to spilt the money, but the inheritors get trapped in a house together after a storm.

Then people start to die.

Its like an anime of murder in the dark, only with real murder, Bwahaha.

Hetalia Axis Powers 2

My friends would like this.

Its very racist.

Princess Lover
No Japan.

Grow up.


Weib Schwarz

What can I say? I'm a sucker for card games...

God damn Yu-Gi-Oh.

Well here's the whole list for anyone interested:


But I got to say I'm not to thrilled by the choices, I mean alot of the stuff on offer is just retreading the same things over and over. I'll try to keep an eye on some of the other ones but I'm not really expecting any of them to be sleeper hitters. Also there's always the danger that they don't get subbed (Where the f*** is my Kemono! Blragfuklag!) but here's hoping that the good ones do get it.

Wednesday, 17 June 2009

Prototype: Chapter 1 Awakening

My name is Alex Mercer.

At least that's what they called me over my autopsy.

Everything is dark. Soon I will know that I'm in a morgue, its grey walls keeping a treasure of silver beds for the dead. I can hear two men talking in the distance, they seem so far away and yet I know there close.

"Hey I knew this guy, he was Black Light" I cant see them yet, but soon I'll know their both wearing blue bio suits. I probably would have put that down as the most disturbing image if not for the morgue.
"Well hes ex-Black Light now" One of the men picks up a file and begins to read it out for the other.
"Name is Mercer, Alex J. Next of kin is Mercer, Dana A. Is that his wife?" The other man is inspecting my corpse. It is riddled with bullets, perhaps he thinks that could have been my cause of death.
"Don't know" He sounds impatient but the other man doesn't seemed to have noticed as he whispers something over the table.
"Hey... Do you think this has anything to do with the subject on the 51st floor?"
"Don't know, don't want to know, just give me the 8 inch blade and lets get started"

The world is full of light for a brief moment and I begin to breath.

The two men back away suddenly, shocked by the corpses sudden revival, they look to each other in confusion before one of them declares that they should get the hell out of here. I hear them but they sound so far away as I roll off my death bed. My mind reels as it tries to get used to the sensory overload I'm feeling, and for a brief moment I wonder why my muscles feel so odd.

The two men are leaving the room in a hurry, one of them is screaming for a kill team. It doesn't sound good, I think its time I left.

As I wonder the halls of grey I can feel spasms going through my muscles and bones, it feels like their shifting around in some sort of sick game of musical chairs. I can actually feel my bones twisting and bending around my muscles and organs and a part of me screams that's not normal.
Somehow I've managed to make my way outside without bumping into anymore creepy men in bio suits. The world outside seems strange all of a sudden, the sky is dark and featureless and the streets are only lit by a few lights. I make my way behind a large green box, I think its for trash, and then I see the bio suit men again. They've brought friends with them.

There are five armed men with them now, all wearing faceless masks and dressed all in black. The men in black seem familiar but my mind still feels like its being thrown around in a jar and I can't quite place them. They seem to be arguing with the bio suit men, until one of the black suited men nods from one of his men to the bio suit men. Shots are fired. The blue men are dead now, I don't even know why, and I suddenly get the idea that I'm next if I don't leave.

My muscles all seem to pull to their limit as I stagger out from hiding and one of the black dressed men point me out. I call, I plead to them, ask them whats going on but they don't seem to care, they just shoot me.

I must be dead again.

Yet the pain disappears so quickly its like it was never there. The bullet holes are gone and while my mind still aches I feel better then ever. Escape however preoccupies my mind and I make a run over the green box and jump over a nearby wall. I suddenly realise that I just jumped over a 8 meter high wall whilst getting shot at with hardly any effort at all.

-Part 2 added soon

Review: Prototype

It is totally rad.
If you don't enjoy fun then I suppose you might not like this game, but anyone that does should have a darling time with this little gem.

I will admit that the graphics aren't as great as some of the other big name titles but I've found you'll quickly stop caring the instant you power slam someone into a tank. But hang on, the lack of great detail actually seems to serve a purpose... Now they could have made a pretty game where you can see the sweat running off peoples faces or they could have had the most amazing draw distance I've ever seen in a game. It is charming to stand on top of one of the many tall landmarks of Manhattan and watch as people flee a zombie horde... then elbow drop one of them for kicks.

This brings me to another point, this game is bloody... like.. really bloody. You can take a clean street and in five seconds make it look like an accident in a soup kitchen. There is something deeply satisfying when you push peoples heads into their chests, and so far it hasn't gotten old.

The pacing and free world gameplay work well together, while your incredibly powerful some enemies can still give you some serious trouble so it never feels like a smooth ride down easy street.

Now onto the bit you've no doubt been dieing to know about.


The story could really use help. There's nothing... terribly wrong with it... it just feels like it's their to move the game along rather then an extension to the experience. The odd plot hole opens up towards the end of the game but unfortunately Alex is portrayed as a rather unlikeable person. I did try to play the game as a good guy and within five minutes I had accidentally jumped off of someones back onto a building... They were very dead from that. The problem dear reader is that Alex is hooked on this idea of revenge for what has been done to him but throughout I could only ask "Why is he so mad?", its a sign of poor storytelling if your audience doesn't 'get' your main characters motivation.

Basically Alex begins the game with no memories and gets shot by some bad people, and while I imagine that hurt his feelings it doesn't seem like a very likely catalyst for his psychopathic tendencies. Now if you've played the game you'll probably play the "They turned him into a monster" card but I call bullshit on that. How can he be sad hes no longer human if he cant remember what its like? See this is what happens when you give motivation to people with amnesia, it just doesn't make sense. If you however retort "perhaps he remembers what it felt like" I'd say shut up, we don't know if he did because that's never explored in his story and is probably something they should have mentioned.

I believe what they did wrong (Other then not hiring a proper writer... yeah I went there) is that they tried to have their cake and eat it too. I can see where they were going with Alex, he's badass so lets make him angry and badass, but unfortunately a character like Alex needs tragedy to balance out his badass nature... else whats the point in caring about him?

I mean if you go around sort of eating innocent people you can only really get away with one of two things:

A) You are mental

B) You are detached from a world that hates you and the terrible hunger that rests within you must be satisfied... If you die how will you get your answers?

It seems they may have thought about doing B but ended up doing A instead, you never really feel the loss that Alex should feel so he comes off more crazy then sympathetic. The real tragedy is they could have done this if they had just made the cut scenes a little longer, but they may have felt doing so would interfere with the fast paced nature of the game.

I will say however that the web of intrigue thing, where you eat certain people to gain their memories and learn more about the back story and whats going on was done really well. The flash of information and the art style was very good and there a joy to watch.
Well dear reader we've come to what I'm gonna do next. You see sometimes when I'm watching a film or playing a game I sort of make my own story or expand on the one in front of me (In some cases if the story is very bad I might fully go into dreamland). I've decided to start writing these up. I'm gonna do this with prototypes story and I don't think I'll change much... as I said there's nothing really wrong with it, I just feel it could use some expanding. You may feel this is perhaps a little bit of a dick move towards the original writers, but I do this for fun, its just something I do, I like to experiment with other peoples ideas and explore them in ways I want to.
Besides some people can't write for shit anyway.

Thursday, 11 June 2009

In The Land of Eriatilos

Once upon a time there were four lands created by four brothers. There was Edaps the hardest working of the four, Dnomaid the richest, Bulc the strongest and finally the compassionate Traeh. The lands were created in their images and times were good, but the four brothers agreed that something critical was missing from their lands.

One day Traeh came to his brothers after a night of deep thought and said unto them "To make our lands complete and perfect we must populate them with people from all corners of the world" almost immediately his brothers agreed, all understanding the crushing loneliness they all felt. However they could not agree how to gather these people.

Bulc stepped forward and said "We should hold a tournament directed by Traeh, each of us taking a side and seeing who can win over the most people"

Edaps frowned and disagreed with his brothers competitive idea "Instead I say we should try to sort out these people by examining them all trough the ritual of Llec Eerf"

Dnomaid scoffed at his brothers idea and said smugly "No, rather we should open the borders of Eriatilos and let people come from anywhere through the Redips gates"

They argued deep into the night until finally Traeh stepped in and brought forward his own idea "No my brothers I think we should do this in the old ways of Eriatilos and send for an outsider" The brothers muttered to one another but knew that Traeh's decision was the wisest, and so they sent for an outsider.

Soon a sage from distant lands arrived before them and Traeh gave him his quest "You are to go out into the world Sage Reyalp and bring back as many people that fit our philosophies as you can. Be warned Reyalp, you will only be armed with only your wits and the outside world can be cruel and cunning, and many people only follow those stronger then them" Even so the Sage accepted his quest, touched deeply by the silent suffering of the four brothers.

Entering wild lands coverd in lush green fields the Sage Reyalp came across small gatherings of different people, but no matter how hard he tried he could not convince any of them to come with him. As hope for the success of his quest already fading the sage recalled Traeh's words of how people only follow those stronger... with that thought in mind the Sage left for other lands seeking those who could help him gather these people together.

The trip was long and hard but not fruitless, during his travels he met a large man by the name of Thgie that had already gathered a group of people under his wing. The Sage spoke to him often of the lands of Eriatilos and how it was a paradise to behold but Thgie looked unsure and said "You say this place is grand yet it seems to me that no one lives there, making it a hollow Eden... If others begin to populate this land then perhaps then I shall accompany you there" With that the Sage left him and carryied on his quest to find those willing to leave their homes for a better future.

It was in one of the citys of this land of green that the Sage Reyalp encountered a poor man llieing in the street. He gave his question to the man and he replied "Any hope for a richer life then this is worth taking, I shall go with you to this paradise" smiling to himself th Sage continued his journey to find others to travel to the land of Eriatilos.

Leaving the city the Sage was confronted by a most peculiar site, new cities had begun to spring up over night populated by all sorts of people. It wasn't long before he met with the man Thgie again and asked what had happened.

"While news of your land has spread Sage others have begun to spread their own rumors, proclaiming their new cities as paradises, and while I am unsure of them for now they seem tempting places to flock to" The Sage could not believe what was happening, what he had caused to happen. If he did not do something soon then any chance of getting these poor people to glorious lands of Eriatilos would fail.

But as the Sage confronted those who had mislead these people into forming cruel mockery's of cities he could already tell that he was too late. His rumors had saved a few souls, but at the price of all of them.


Thus ends our tale of woe dear reader, and the moral of this story?

No one ever wins at Solitaire.

Tuesday, 9 June 2009

Omg! Plot Twist!

Ah. Here we come Dear reader... Sooner or later we were going to come to this point and I suppose its better we get this out of the way now...

You may be wondering why my blog is called The Story Eater, and simply its because that's what I am. I thrive and live off storeys of almost any kind, it doesn't matter where they come from, I simply have a drive to devour them. Most of my storeys come from modern mediums like Tv and games but I am not opposed to comics or books, and frankly you'd think I actually do eat the books considering the state I leave them in.

For sure I prefer certain genre's over others but sometimes my tastes demand something exotic for once... Genre's that would place my manhood into question, but my hunger is too strong to deny.

But there is something important you should note reader, something that makes storeys for me far more enjoyable then they might be for you...

I can not see plot twists coming.

Nope, nada, not at all. Unless the plot twist is incredibly juvenile and overused I will not see it coming at all. In very simple storeys or frankly ones that have been hinting at it for the last hour I can sometimes predict those... But sometimes not.

The best example to prove to you that this is real is Star Wars.

I had no idea that Palpatine was the Emperor until before the third 'new' film.

I am super serious when I say this. My friends, big star wars fans, will never trust me with anything. Apparently it was one of those things everyone-knew-so-no-one-had-to-say-anything, thus no one mentioned this to me throughout the years of the first two 'new' films.

Its actually kind of a funny story how I found out. It was nearing on the day the new film was coming out, no doubt that me and my family would go watch it when it did. Before then I was watching me some Clone Wars (Not the CGI one... the good animation one where grievous kicked ass) and it was the last episode where grievous is doing his thing and killing Jedi.

Hes got a job to kidnap the head of the senate, which is of course Palpatine. So were at this scene where grievous is running away with Palpatine on his shoulder and my dad sits in his usual spot. He takes in what hes seeing silently for a bit then his eyebrows sort of scrunch and he pops the question "Why is he kidnapping the emperor?" I look at my father questioningly, assuming old age has caught up to him finally and respond.

"No no, that's Palpatine" My dad scrunches his eyebrows again then proceeds to nod his head up and down.
"No no, that's the Emperor"

There is a pause.

There is another pause.

A gear shifts within my mind.

I then get annoyed at my Dad for ruining this major plot twist right before the new movie, however he explains that its been fricken obvious to the entire world. I can not believe him. I question my Mother.

She Knows.

I question my little sister, who is a precious little princess rarely interested in things sci-fi and geeky.

She Knows.

I sit down. I realise that something has transpired here. Something that will haunt me for the rest of my days.

I can not predict plots...

Or see through make up.


Now I wont be surprised if your appalled by this tale of woe, but think about this: When you watch the latest cliche ridden crap spewed out by Hollywood you will be unimpressed.

While I will sit at the back, smile to myself and think "Wow! What a twist!"

Two in One!

Well for the past three days I've missed my blog post, but there is a good reason for this. Let me elaborate:

If anyone in any sort of modern working environment (Or.. eh... "school") says "This is like slavery" I will pull out a whip, WHICH I CARRY AT ALL TIMES, and strike them with it shouting:

"No it is not!"

Unless you have ever worked on an archaeological field trip for weeks or months on end you have barely scratched the surface of what slavery is, of what it is like to do deeming manual labour for hours on ends regardless of weather or pain. When you watch a film that depicts people in slavery you might spar them a comforting thought for their trouble, when I see it my body begins to ache with old pains and I lie on the floor and whisper softly:

"I... I understand my brothers..."

Anyway, moving on, I'm just going to do one big post on three topics I thought you should know about dear reader.

Do pay attention, there will be a test later.

Climatic Endings in Games

Lets get something clear before we begin to discuss. What I mean by climatic ending is the gameplay finale. Now the end of the gameplay can feature a few things, it can either end at the last boss or it end on what I like to call the Fools Ending.

Now I don't doubt many would love to disagree with my unkind naming (We'll get into what it means for me in a moment), but you should note now reader that I do not care what you think. I never have and I never will. Frankly the world to me is a place overs may reside so that perhaps one day they will have the good fortune to gaze upon my brilliance. It is awesome being an ego maniac, I highly recommend it.

The Fools Gold ending is the one where you play out the final scene. It is usually after the boss fight and is normally about the emotional build up of the entire story pivoting on this last scene. It is the last thing the player needs to do to turn the last page and end this story by their own power. Lately developers have discovered that the best way to do this is by using quick time events.

Stop. Doing. It.

The problem you see dear reader is that this sort of ending is the kind certain people use to show that the gap between film and game is becoming thinner all the time. Whats this you say? But James, surely you would approve of this? I mean this can only improve the games story?

Perhaps it can dear reader, but in entirely the wrong direction.

Movies are about characters, even places, and they can explore the deep depths of us as a people. Games have, and will always be about the you. I don't care what you say, at the end of the day a game is about your experiences and no one else's. Even if the plotline is completely linear and controlled so everyone has the same outcome, thanks to gameplay you can have your own personal experiences.

I'm pretty sure that the straight faced, few jokes Chris from Resident Evil ever threw a grenade at Sheva.... But I did.

Honestly, it was hilarious, and I'd do it again in a heart beat. Yet here we are in a cut scene and she doesn't seem pissed at all? She must be pretty forgiving.

This topic actually reminds me of Fallout 3, because in that game you really could have your own experience. My character started out as a bumbling hero who meant well but actually couldn't save many lives until the crushing depression of the wastelands got the better of him and he had an almost divine urge to eat his enemies, but he redeemed himself when he met his super mutant friend and went on super tag team adventures to save what they could of the wasteland... And in the end his gave his life to save the wasteland... and as his vision faded he could make out the image of his father... He died with a warm smile on his face.

My friend on the other hand went completely mad the instant his father disappeared and would swing between honest hero and psychotic murderer. He controlled his lapses by flipping a coin whenever his character met someone new. It was like having two-face as a flat mate and I could only smile at how different his experience was.

Now hold on James, you haven't even said why you've called it the Fools Gold ending? The reason dear reader is because it is a difficult ending to do. No other sort of ending can reveal your writers lack of skill, or in fact in your developers lack of vision then an ending like this. Resident Evil 5 is a good example actually, after you beat the last boss there's one tiny quick time event that completely destroys the flow of the ending for a jarring moment. It required no skill from me other then the ability to press two buttons. All the way through the game your testing your mettle against the zombie horde, refining your tactics and getting better weapons.... and all of it counts for bugger all in that single last moment.

Vikings ending is truely epic... If you like Brain Cancer

Some games have tried to combine the 'cinematic ending' with the boss, but it carries the same dangers the Fools ending has. On the other hand if done right it is truly an epic end. To sum up, a good end boss battle is one that requires skill to win, rather then a mere emotional investment with the story. If it can do both, fair enough, but if the developer goes "Well we want the gamer to feel good about themselves so we'll make the ending easy" then he deserves a slap.

For me a good ending can give me fond memories of a game, and a bad ending can taint the entire experience... Nothing in my eyes can redeem a bad ending.

That's a Good Point But....

I have noticed something reader. I don't doubt its due to my recent turn in studying scientific documents (Or at least I like to think they are) but whenever someone uses information from other sources to make a point, say on the news, in the local paper or in an essay arguing something...

I find myself wondering where their references are.

I mean honestly, if you can't show me where you got your information from then why should I believe anything you say? If you pulled this in any scientific community you'd be laughed at and nick named captain bullshit.

I released I do this now after reading an essay on why pot should be legalised, you know... the same old debate. He had alot to say about old historic figure heads who smoked and I think he said that George Washington of America was one of these, which I find hilarious to imagine. He also had alot to say about the conspiracy by other businesses hemp endangered and how they slowly made it illegal. He had all sorts of facts about how there are no real health risks and so on and I could only think "Well those are some good points you've made, but where are you getting these facts from?"

Suffice it to say he did not include any references in his essays, or any clear indication of where he was getting his facts from. Now I could very easily look this up myself in places not run by people off their heads, or by propaganda machines, or the very misinformed Internet. Of course I don't care enough to bother doing this but it made me think alot about these sorts of arguments.

These arguments can only affect one group, and that is people. It is not a difficult group to manipulate, all you really need is a bit of charisma and know how and your away. This of course is the problem. I could say banana's grow underwater and if I had enough charisma and apparent 'facts' I could get people to believe me. Trust me, people have been fooled by sillier things.

Of course this all happens because normal everyday people sometimes don't question where these facts are coming from.

So dear reader when a fact that relates to your or your views props up that your interested in, find out where their facts come from.... Then actually find out how it was gathered because most likely dear reader, the person quoted was also talking shit.

Saturday, 6 June 2009

Hype Machine: Demon Souls and White Knight

F*** you Japan.

Now I enjoy your anime Japan (Not all of it mind you, god no) I even watch it subtitled because English voice actors very rarely do you justice. I even like your RPGs, cliche as some of them may be.

But what I can never forgive is your release dates.

Is it because of your cultural heritage of imperialism? Is it because your mad cause you get lots of earthquakes? Or is it that you think no one will want to buy awesome games in other, clearly backward, nations?

F*** YOU!

Demon Soul:

I have to admit if you only watch the gameplay video of the tutorial then you might get the impression this game is no big deal. That is because your brain is full of shit. I have been waiting for a game like this for a long time.

The main problem with medieval fantasy settings is that any main character in armor will either be A) An impenetrable fortress or B) Have super moves and agility. These concepts have been wearing thin on me for years now and I've been waiting for a game that understands that weapons are heavy, armor is heavy, and most of all if someone stabs you in the head you die.

Then when I thought all hope lost a beacon of light descended from the one place I never expected. No offensive Japan but you understand the medieval about as much as we understand the bottom of the ocean. When it comes to knights in shining armor Japan treats them as well as we treat samurai in our media... which in some cases is appalling. If the knights and samurai of old saw us now I don't doubt they'd kill us un-honourable dogs.

Anyway, along comes Demon Soul brandishing its blade high to fight the bitter battle of normal man vs horrific monsters. Yes from what I understand the picture on the box is no joke, you will apparently die alot. But I have only heard good things about the death system and how it makes the game rewarding, so I'm looking forward to that.

The story is a straight forward affair to just throw you into the actual game so I doubt I'll make a big deal of it, but I'll do my thing all the same.

White Knight Chronicles:

This is just another RPG. I don't care what people say about the combat system, strip any 'revolutionary' combat system from any rpg and they usually lead to the same thing. Which is alright because that's why we buy them right?

Like usual the story seems cliched what with it about a princess being kidnapped, in fact that story line is almost old enough to be called retro. But even if its the exact same story we've seen a thousand times, if they can gloss it up enough I wont care.

The combat system actually does sound fun but a little confusing so we'll just have to see.

Also there's a character creation feature, and your character will join the hero's as a silent companion. Did I mention I am a sucker for character customisation? Hell I should get a game of just that.... fricken love doing that.

One final note mind you, I'm a little familiar with the company (Level 5) since I played their last rpg and I have to say.... They'd better have learnt how to make a better storyline. Geeze.... I mean the game was good, the combat was fine and over all the storyline was alright.... But it could have been so much better. Two things come to mind... At one point your characters are heading into this tower thing and this hidden guy literally spoils the twist later in the game.... Right there! I couldn't believe that, it felt like such a betrayal. Then the ending... I'm sure it was fine for them but.... Ehhh.... My mind had already reasoned a bigger ending with loads of plot twists and horrific end bosses, so when the game delivered something rather mediocre it just irritated me.

....F***ing Japan....

Friday, 5 June 2009

Games from the Past

For some reason reader i was compelled to seek out some really old games I had never played before. I suppose I do this simply because my mind will consider them new because I haven't played them before.

This time I came across a wide selection of good old fashioned beat-the-hell-out-of-everything games. You know, games like Golden Axe.

Ah, those were the days weren't they? 2-d gameplay but on a 3d landscape. You try to hit an oncoming enemy only to learn hes not exactly level with you, then he punches you in the face. Indeed there's no denying that these games were hard, after all they were designed to make you put in more coins, yet no matter how much money you poured into them it would never be enough.

I don't actually know what makes these games so addicted, their cruel, they cheat, and they laugh at your obvious lack of skill... Huh, maybe that's it? Whatever it is they had the pattern for it and all other games of the same genre had it as well. Some were better then others.

Some were f***ing amazing.

I wont name any here dear reader or how I got them, but I played two that were hands down awesome. One of them was your usual giant robot affair. Now usually you can just draw up some robots and make the combat like double dragon but with lasers, but not the one I played reader. No, the one I played would take your giant robot, tear its limbs off, and then tear its own limbs off to make use of your ones. What?

If that was a bit confusing just imagine this: Your a giant robot with a fist and you eye a robot with a horrible giant drill weapon... Man you think, wouldn't it be nice to tear him to pieces then use that drill yourself? This game says Hell Yeah! You could do the same for your gun and legs as well. At the end of the game I had beam saber arm, blade like spider legs and a big ass flame thrower. That was just what I had kept, there was a wide selection of different death tools and it was great fun just tearing into robots just to get there weapons. It made me wonder why the hell no one has tried to redo this idea? Its awesome.
Another thing I noticed that set this game apart from the usual affair was the fact that every melee weapon had like four combos (Two different attacks for the legs). In games like this you had only one combo, and they were special if it had two, yet here this game was tearing robots up in dozens of ways. Stuff like this makes you take a serious look at our games today and sigh with regret.
Onto the other game and a point about both of them. The second game was a dungeon and dragons one and before i go off ranting again I have to say, considering its just a beat em up they stayed quite close to their source material (If you know the spells and monsters of DnD you'd be surprised how much they kept in for just this little game). This one was good fun but brutal. I picked the mage character so i was throwing magic everywhere and it was alot of fun.
Now onto the point i wish to make. I had no idea how to play either of these games. They come with no tutorial or manual so its up to you to work out what the hell the jump button is in the first place. Now in a basic retro game this isn't a problem, A to attack B to jump etc, but these two games were a whole different bag. They only had about 3-4 buttons each (Not including directions) and yet there was still so much you could do. In the robot one it literally took me until the final boss to work out how the hell the jump powers worked, and in the DnD one it took me like three levels to work out how to block.

Was it frustrating? Not really. Was it rewarding? Yes.

I've found that I like to discover hidden things all on my own. Even if its for the most basic game play elements it feels so good to find out how to make it work with no help at all. I feel alot of games today are missing out by telling the player everything about their game, even before the game comes out. When I play prototype and my hands become hammers I wont be surprised I'll just think "Oh, I've got that power now".

A recent defining moment for me about hidden gameplay was while I was playing Kingdom Hearts 2. It was during an early boss fight and I was thinking "Well time to do some damage, best transform" (If you don't know, in KH2 you can transform into different more powerful types, e.g. magic power or combat power). Now I had gone through all the tutorials about this power, tried them out a bit and generally had a good idea how they worked before getting into any big fights. So imagine my surprise when I went to turn into this:

And came out as this:

It went a something like this:

"Holy crap! What the hell is this?! Urr.. Attack! Holy shit that's amazing! How am I doing this?! Oh I won... it ran out.... how the hell do I do that again?!"

When really cool stuff in a game takes you by surprise, that is an awesome game.
Edit: I recently found out that if you played with three people on the giant robot one, when you reached a boss they would combine into a super robot... Why do games today not do this?! Garrr!

Thursday, 4 June 2009

Dream: The Dragon Machine

I had an odd dream last night dear reader. I don't doubt that a large part of it was influenced by watching reign of fire before going to bed, but there were other parts I have no idea where they came from.

I was standing in a green field, surrounded by a line of forest to one end and a cliff to the other. The trees looked old and undisturbed, they seemed like a total barrier for the brief moments I paid them any attention. The cliff lead down to the sea, its mighty blue waves crashing against the rocks. The sun was high in the sky and it was a good day.

I was myself yet not myself. Something you need to understand reader is that my dreams are not always about me, they are about apart of me. A character of me if you will. For as I understand when I write a story a piece of me goes into every character, and for a long time my dreams have acted as story's for a character of myself.

There were others with me, I knew I did not knew them very well but still i considered them friends. There was a light hearted girl, a roguish older man, and there were others I think but i never saw them.

I can't quite remember but I believe we were talking about seeking seven rubies, I think we already had one. I don't know why they were important, but they were.

Then the dragon appeared.

Honestly it was huge. Massive. My companions were rather worried when it began to swoop down towards us. Yet as it flipped us off our feet and swallowed us whole I was never really worried myself, more surprised I think.

Inside the dragon we landed on a wooden floor. I looked around and couldn't really believe what I was seeing. Brown metal pipes that matched the wood sprung out of every corner, many of them leading to certain machines covered in glass veils filled with colourful liquids. A rather large man appeared before us (He was fat but its not polite to say that) and began to apologies to us.

It seemed that the man had created a home inside this dragon, but he did not control the dragon at all. Rather he could use the liquids, by draining them etc, to sort of suggest it do certain things or go to certain places. Apparently alot of the time the dragon just did what it wanted.

Now dear reader I did not doubt that we were inside a dragon, for the ceiling was curved into a semi circle, and whenever the dragon moved the room would sway. I recall there being another girl in the dragon, but she seemed almost wild and I never really got a good look at her.

Anyway we explained our quest to the man and after thinking for awhile produced a ruby of his own (It was attached to some ornament, I don't know what it was, but we removed it from it). This was the strange part reader, for after that we discovered that each of us also had another ruby we were never aware of. So we laid them all onto a table, rubies of every colour and shape. It was then, I assume it was the rubies, that we received a vision, or rather a message.

A man who was slowly turning into a tree had been running away from something. He explained to us that he had found the rubies and had given them to us to look after. Somehow we all knew the rubies had to be taken somewhere, but none of us knew where. We just knew.

There were arguments, light ones mind, about what we should do, my roguish friend being the biggest fan of just leaving and going home (Whilst we were talking the dragon had lifted off once more and the room moved around alot, so the conversation looked really funny with us being thrown all over the place). In the end however he agreed to come with us.

We watched one of the veils fill up with a blue liquid (It may have been yellow) and the big man explained that it meant the dragon was about to eat something, but for real this time. It was apparently important to put the net up at the entrance so we weren't covered in 'bits'.

Lastly I remember the big man taking one of the rubies to his study, where everything had been tied down firmly to examine it.

Then I awoke dear reader.

Wednesday, 3 June 2009

Hype Machine: Prototype

I can get very psyched for new games. I can understand how people can foam at the mouth for a new release. Something about the new releases potential can strike a cord with us, and make us love what technically doesn't exist yet.

My newest one is prototype.

Reader, you may have noticed (If you read my review of DOW2) that I seem to not explain mechanics of games, whats fun about them, whats glitchy about them or all those other things you'd expect from a review. I do this because I assume you have found better places to find out such things, and talking about these little things bores me. No, I like to talk about fun things, and most of all about the story.

Later I shall tell you interesting things about what I do to story's (I have so far not found another person who does what I do), but that is for another day. Were here to talk about prototype.

One of my favorite fantasy's is shape shifting. I enjoyed the idea of taking on other guises sure, but more then that I liked the idea of turning my hands into blades for various activity's. How exactly doesn't prototype hit that on the head? Your a dude that can transform his body into a weapon, nuff said.

But whats interesting is prototype has struck a cord in me that is likely not part of the games experience at all.

One more fantasy I enjoyed immensely in the past (Strangely not so much anymore) was the aspect of an evil self. I can only explain it as some sort of perverse joy at the idea of some inner evil self having its own ego and doing terrible things because it thinks its funny. When ever I see a game, tv show or anime I automatically love the character who has this. From the character Angel in Buffy the vampire slayer to Ichigo from bleach, I find myself enjoying their evil self far more then I do the main character.

Now i don't know why prototype reminds me of this, after all from my understanding Alex is actually rather sane (As sane as one can be after losing all your memories). But somehow it does and I find a glee amusement at that.

Now onto what I plan to do once I have prototype.

For those unfamiliar with the story its about a man named Alex who wakes up to find he has no memory's and super powers (Usual stuff). He is then thrown into a city gone mad. People are turning into monsters, the army has been called in to keep control and finally the Blackwatch has come to kill everything alive in the city. From this turmoil Alex must find out who has done this to him and take his revenge.

Now Alex is not the kind of super hero that has to worry about morality. If some people die because he threw a car at a tank he doesn't care. Why wouldn't he care? Because as far as he knows everyone in the city is going to become a monster anyway, so killing them before then is actually doing them a favour. Alex is a hateful little man with a job to do, and hes so powerful that anything in his way is going to die.

I am going to try and play this game as a good person.

If you watched any of the videos you might release how hard this is going to be. Alex is powerful, too powerful. His power promotes recklessness, and it would be just so easy to paint the town red. But what if your not trying to kill people? What if your actually thinking of the solders family's right before you tear him in half? If this is what Alex thought like, what sort of person would he become after this ordeal?

I wish to explore this idea when I get the game and see if I can play it as an iconic super hero. Will it show that responsibility can make all the difference? Or will it show that with great power, comes great murder?

(Once I am done with this experiment I plan to paint the town so very... very red).

Review: Dawn of War II

It is a good game.

I mean its not the greatest game under the sun but if you like strategy games then there's not much reason you won't enjoy it. Now saying that I don't think its a game I can play over and over again, because it suffers from repetition after awhile. So good for a play through, if your too used to the first games multiplayer you might not like the new one.
Now onto what i actually want to discuss about the game. I enjoyed the story, it wasn't very deep and as story's goes its more of a shell to cover the gameplay with. But what relic did they did do right. The banter between the captains after a mission was enjoyable, and if your familiar with 40K you'd know they were space marines right off the bat. They even add a little intrigue to make things a little more interesting and mysterious (Namely the story about Thule finding information about the chapters birth, then immediately burning them... suspicious much? Hmm?).

However, I did not like the ending.

Once you've gathered all the tools you need you go off for one last mission against the endless horde. The last level opens up with two defending missions alongside the imperial guard(Your meat shields) where you must finish your duty before the aliens kill you. Once the job is finally complete one of the captains is like "Well, job done, lets go home for tea and crumpets gents?" and the others have to brake it to him that while crippled the aliens are still here and are going to murder them.

Your last objective is to kill as many of them as possible before they rip you into tiny pieces. Unleashing all I have left onto the terrible xenos my men are cut down one after the other, but this day they die in glory and have truly earned their place at the right side of emperor. I am not sad for them, for they are space marines and they know their duty.

Then your rescued.

This, this is what made me sad. For some reason relic decided to trade in what could have been an epic ending for a sort of happy ending where evil totally loses and all the good guys have a party (Not really of course, but at this point I wouldn't have been surprised). They were so close, but they messed it up. After your rescued right your joined by other space marines to fight against the dreaded last boss, who by now is easy to beat cause your familiar with this game. So the game ends on a sort of whimper rather then a stunning crescendo.

If it were my ending I would have probably done this:

"We have done it, the xeno's have lost"
"Not quite my brother, for the great beast still lives, and so long as it does they have a chance to recover from this blow"
"Our last transmission pinpointed its location at the heart of the swarm..."
"What should we do then? There could still be time to fall back and regroup"
"No brother there is not, our duty is before us and so is the emperors mercy, I will go to it gladly"

And so the Blood Ravens marched on into the very heart of their enemy. One by one they leave there brothers behind, one more valiant soul left behind to keep the majority of the swarm from reaching his companions.

A silence descends on the commander as he realises he has made it, but his brothers are no where to be found. He looks up at the terrible monster that would devour his world and grips his weapon tightly, for space marines know no fear.

The xeno's never did recover from the blows dealt to them, and when the Blood Ravens fleet finally arrived none could say how the battle ended. Did the commander land a killing blow on the great beast? Did it best him? Or did the swarm finally reach him to tear him asunder?

What happened dear reader would be up to the player. The bosses in this game should have been much easier then they were (On hard they were lessons in frustration and cheapness). My last boss would have to balanced to at least go toe to toe with a powerful force commander. If he did win in the end then his last duty would be to kill as much as the horde as he could... There would be no escaping death, but he would not care.

For he was a space marine.

Monday, 1 June 2009

The Bear is Real!

Now some of you may doubt my claims of madness, and if you met me in a light hearted social event (UNLIKELY) you'd probably perceive nothing out of the ordinary.

My friends on the other hand have been making a rather concrete case for my insanity and I don't doubt they plan to lock me up one day. For example, there is a bear.

No one believes me when I tell them that there is a bear on a street I walk down frequently. It lives in a persons house with its great hairy back to the window. I can only assume that it is drinking tea in there, along with his tiny yellow bear companion!

The trouble you see dear reader is that every time I try to show my friends this bear, or whenever they look for it themselves... It is no where to be found (Its real!). But whenever I'm alone there it is again! Mocking me! (I don't really want to confront it mind you... since it is a bear and plans my murder!).

Once actually I was able to show this bear to one of my friends, proving to him that I am not mad! But when he tried to show the rest of our little gang it was gone once more. So far they have assumed i have done something to his brain.

I have to remember to carry a camera with me.... to show everyone the truth of the bear!

Also once there was a kangaroo there. It is gone now. I am totally serious.


Hello traveler and welcome to my little corner of madness. Officially I am creating this blog in order to train myself to write frequently as I am notoriously lazy (As in, the house could be on fire and it'd still take me an hour to get off my ass).

Now you may encounter many wondrous or terrible things as you journey through my writings, that could include anything from crude reviews to little story's or just general every day madness.

If you find some sick enjoyment from my rantings then good for you, but if you don't enjoy them why are you here?

Go away.