Lets Watch Tokko: Part 3

Shindo: Be honest with me Doc, do I have the cancers?

Doctor: No... Look.... This is a tattoo, not like liver spots or something...

Shindo: But it magically appeared!

Doctor: .... Tell me do you drink?

Shindo: Well yeah-

Doctor: Then mystery f***ing solved.

Shindo: Well I guess I feel better... The Doc did take a blood sample just in case... so nothing should go wrong.


Meanwhile....

Doctor: Oh my good god! He has every cancer known to man!

Shindo: Ooohh this building looks interesting, I'm gonna break in.

I think Shindo may be in the wrong line of work, cause someone needs to explain to him that as a policemen is not ok to break into places.

Shindo: Oh hey Sak, I found your super secret hospital.... that's literally across the street from the normal hospital.... who's that?

Sak: My brother.... He was attacked by a demon during the first incident, he's been in a coma ever since...

Shindo: Oh yeah... Cause you used to live near me back in the day.... How the hell did I forget that? Your like the only person I know with red hair?

(I hate this, anime does it alot.... but its basically selective amnesia that serves no other purpose then showing how stupid the writers are)

Assistant: Oh boy, I wonder where this blood subplot is going? Imagine the interesting things that could be explored!

He is then killed and turned into a zombie, because Tokko hates subplots.

Everyone who saw the blood is then turned into a zombie and killed by Sak, because Tokko likes to thoroughly murder any and all subplots.

That's the entire episode, so little happens in this whole bloody series.

Shindo: Hey there, I'm glad were having a date episode and getting away from the main plot for once.

Ha! No!
Shindo: So you work in forensics.... but you study ancient books.... that doesn't strike you as odd?

Plot Women: Not really....

Plot Women: But yeah the books from Italy.... it speaks of alchemists using demons to turn lead into gold Oohhhoo!

Shindo: I knew it! It was the Italians all along!

Plot Father: Daughter! Take him away! This is not for his eyes!

Plot Women: But dad-

Plot Father: No buts!

Later at night Shindo meets the big demon that spawns the zombie bugs, and gets his ass handed to him.

But look at that! His tattoo has magic Kanji powers! Then the demon runs away.

This is actually something that has always bothered me. Why would magic take the form of words? It would be like summoning a shield with a big glowing stop sign on it.... It doesn't look cool, it looks ridiculous. Do people in Japan think it looks silly? I hope they do, cause it does.

Lets Watch Tokko: Part 2

In 2006 a terrible cast of characters were sent to prison by a writers court for a crime they committed. These people promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Tokyo underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem (with Monsters), if no one else is bothered to help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire-







Kuni: You are not the A-Team!

Kureha: What? But we got like a truck and everything.

Kuni: OK, first, you weren't using it.... some weird hazmat team came out of it and took all the freaky evidence... and second!

Kuni: Are.... Are you like.... wearing anything at all?

Kure: Not really.

Kuni:... Ok.... I guess I'll be going then.... I think...

Shindo: So... hey... My names Shindo... *Oh god, quick think of something witty to say*.... I'll cya later.... *god damn it*

Sakura:.... Kay....
Suit: Yep, just as you thought Sir, all the evidence of those... face monster parasite things is gone... You really should of tried questioning more about what they were-

Kuni: Ah Ah Ah! I saw a little nipple! That conversation was gonna go nowhere.

Ichiro: So that pink haired girl is the one from your crazy dream?

Shindo: Yeah... She looked just like her.... oh yeah, I got to ask.... How are you alive? I saw one of those monsters backhand you across the stairs and over a railing?

Ichiro:... I.... I don't know... Well how come your alive? We saw them rip off limbs? Why was he choking you really slowly?

Shindo: I don't know... It's like were being guided by someone with no idea of what continuity is.

Kuni: Ok, what we got this time?

Officer: Urmm... It appears to be unkillble super hobo's.

Kuni: Huh, I thought as much.

Officer: What the f- no way is that regulation gear.

Kuni: See, this is why you should fill out the paper work...

Kuni: Hahahahahaha!

Zombie hobo: Errggee.... We want aid.... Ereger..

Kuni: No aid for you!

Kure: Saved the day!

Kuni: Damn it!

Shindo:.... What the hell is going on?


Shindo is confused because I have cut out so much from this and the last episode. The reason is because alot of it is totally unnecessary, there's a whole f***ing scene of Shindo going back to his childhood home to brood, literally nothing else happens. For those of you actually interested in the story (What is wrong with you?) I'll give a brief summary of the things I've skipped.

-Shindo's sister, while you'd think would be a main character is not. The reason being that main characters effect the overall plot... Shindo's sister has zero impact. Plus there's this whole brother X Sister thing going on that I am not touching with a ten foot pole (WTF is wrong with you japan?)

-For those of you who haven't guessed, Tokko is a secret group that fights monsters. This doesn't make any sense for a large number of reasons, the main one being that they seem to want to hide the existence of monsters. That's bullshit, sure there would be a slight panic, but you know what else there would be? A monster hotline (Tokko are basally looking for the big demon that's possessing all these people and turning them into zombies). Finally these monsters are not subtle... they literally rip people to pieces... and frequently... bullshit no one would notice, or that some of the police wouldn't mention it to anyone else.

-As for Shindo, he's a survivor of the first demon incident, but his parents and neighbours were not. He frequently has nightmares about that day... and I've started to find them funny, because screw Shindo. For some reason the zombies yell at him and say there gonna kill him.

That's basically the key points, there's a bunch of other stuff but it literally adds nothing other then wasted screen time.

Lets Watch Tokko: Part 1

Cultist: Look, just because you painted a rubix cube gold does not mean we'll be able to summon a demon...


Cultist: Holy shit! It worked!... and killed you... why are we doing this again?

Would you believe they summoned a demon of red paint and happiness? That... No wait, there's a body in that picture... damn.... Urrr.... Ok yeah they summoned a demon that proceeded to kill everyone.

Honestly, what sort of person considers it good judgement to summon something that's probably going to tear your head off? Will my question be answered?

Ha! Hell no, is this Tokko.... Killer of side plots....


Shindo: Oh god I don't want to die!

Shindo: Oh god now there's a naked chick with a sword.... and I have nothing witty to say!

Shindo: AHHH!.... God what a horrible dream... I got to find some pick up lines...

Kunikida: Welcome to Tokki police force... thing... What the hell do we do?
The Suit(Don't know his name): Urmm... It's poorly explained later on... but for now... were a group that looks into weird things!
Kuni:..... I hate all of you already.
Ichiro: But we've only just joined the force-
Kuni: Shut up and clean my shoes!


Kuni: What the f*** happened here? Bear get out of the zoo again?
Suit: Seems someone did it with their bare hands.... There's talk of heavy duty drugs being involved.
Kuni: Holy shit...
Suit: I know, if we-
Kuni: Where can I find some of that shit? I'll be the boxing champ!

Ichiro: Oh god.... I'm gonna be sick...
Kuni: Hey hey! No vomiting on the evidence! That's bad police work!
Shindo:... Hey... Do you guys hear something?


Policeman: Blargsdijgfvnjk/gdf-

(yes, that's the noise you make when that happens)

Kuni: Man, it's just gonna be a dog or something- Oh my god!

Kuni: Chav's! Shoot them!

Kuni: God damn it! Why do bullets never work in anime?!

Kuni:.... What the hell.... That is the worst acne I have ever seen...

Possessed Thug (?): KILL! THIS ONE! DIE! KILL! NO SURVIVORS!

Shindo: I don't want to die!.... Shit I still got nothing witty to say!

????: Someone hasn't played dead space.... The only way to kill them...


Sakura: Is to cut off their limbs.