Saturday, 10 July 2010

Lets Play The Warriors of Heaven and Earth: Part 3

DM: Finally with the group assembled you-

Li: Hey, I was wondering... what the hell is our quest? You've just sent us running around in circles for no reason?

DM: Your helping the Monk.

Li: But he hasn't said anything?

DM: That is because he is mysterious!

Li:.... Your not very good at writing characters are you?

DM: Shut up!

Li: Whatever, I need more meat shields so I take Old Die Hard with me to town to pick up some troops.

Old: Darh rught!

DM: Man, I am not giving you the leadership feat.

DM: As you look around for troops a man approaches you and says-

Li: I throw my sword through his neck.

DM: What? Why would you do that?

Li: He's the villain isn't he? It'll save alot of effort if I kill him now.

DM: Shut up! You don't do it!

Li: Right, we'll just leave I guess.

DM: Can't, gate's blocked.

Li:.... I suddenly feel like I most apologize.

DM: Too late, the entire town is trying to kill you now.

Lil: F***!

Li: I use the old man as a shield!

Old: Mrahptah!

Li: I get like +4 to my Ac right?

DM: Your surrounded.

Li: Shi-
Lai Xi: Hey Li!

Li: What the hell? How did you get here?

Lai Xi: Oh I'm doing a little mini quest here.

Li: Well come help me out here.

Lai Xi:..... Nah I'm good.

Li: Oh you son of a-!

Li: Phew, can't believe I got out of that mess alive. Good thing these npc's came to save me.

DM: I only did that cause you were running around in circles out of every one's range, it would have gone on forever.

Lai Xi: Anyway, back to my plot, I'm here to get my daughter out of this place.... It's not safe for a young prostitute.

DM:... God damn you.....

DM: Well your followed by two guards on horse back.

Lai Xi: I kill them like a Ninja.

DM: What? You don't even have any skills in acrobatics? You'll never-

DM: Oh what the hell!

Lai Xi: NINJA!

Lai Xi: I take their uniforms and roll for badass.

DM:... You got a... 20... Yeah sure, you come out of town looking like a badass.

Lai Xi: Hell yeah.

Li: Hmm, I don't trust this place... I roll for spot.

DM: Huh... you got a 2... all you can see are the birds.

Li:... Those birds are suspicious.... I roll a lore check to see if their bandits...

DM:... You got... 1... Yeah there bandits.

Li: Holy shit! Bird Bandits! I knew it! Everyone get ready!

DM: Right... Well some Bandits up ahead appear and cut you off-

Li: Holy shit! Watch out! Were-Bandits!

DM: I... what?

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