Wednesday, 7 July 2010

Lets Play The Warriors of Heaven and Earth: Part 2

DM: Anyway, you start on your journey alongside the monk. Li comes with you because he feels... indebted to you for saving his life.

Jake: I told you, camel blood is the cure.

DM: Right, whatever.

DM: As the sun sets you make camp for the -

Jake: I mock the monk.

DM: You... What? Why would you do that?

Jake: I want to see his Kung-Fu skills.

DM: He's... not that kind of monk! He's little more then a scribe.

Jake: Pfft, I mock him for being a wimp then.

DM:... Fine, the Monk is sad now.

Jake: Hell yeah, do I get like a 1000 rp xp now?

DM:..... No.

Li: If were gonna make this journey safely, I think we should hire some more guys....

DM: That's actually pretty clever-

Li: That way when they die I'll look amazing.

DM: Eh... Meanwhile Lai Xi gets a tip off about one Li's old friend's.

Lai Xi: Hey, I was wondering, can I sell my daughter as a prostitute?


Lai Xi: What? She's old enough, and I need the money.

DM: Just leave her in the inn! The hell is wrong with you?

DM: (I'll get him this time...) As you leave the inn for your horse your surrounded by four swordsmen...

Li: Hey, why haven't we had an encounter yet?

DM:.... You fought the sandstorm... it got a critical.

Lai Xi: I'll just kill these guys.

DM: Yeah, good luck with-

DM: Jesus Christ! How are you getting these rolls?

DM: With the new day ahead of Li goes to an old friend's place to pick up some hired swords.

Li: Hey, I need some swordsmen to join me on my quest.... what is my quest anyway?

DM: Your honour bound to help Jake.

Jake: Yay!

DM: Elsewhere Lai Xi begins-

Lai Xi: Hey do the thing.

Dm:... I'm not... Urh.... Fine... A mysterious swordsmen begins to make his way over the hillside, Dun Dun Dun.

Lai Xi: Liiiee!

Eye Patch: These are the best men we've got left. This here's Old Die Hard.

Old Die Hard: Hurft tur murpf! Derheheh! Shulpah!

Lai Xi: Liiieee!

Eye Patch: And the halfling Sleepy Face.

DM: What? You can't be a halfling, this is china, not the forgotten realms!

Sleepy Face:... The past is a kinda forgotten realm?

Lai Xi: Liiieee!
Li: Shh.... I just passed my listen check....

Lai Xi: Liiieee!

Li: So we meet at last....

Lai Xi: Huh... Huh... One sec.... Yes! And now we must battle!

Jake: Wait! I try to use the soothing sound of a humming bird to calm Lai Xi!

DM: I.... No.. No it doesn't work.

Lai Xi: Time for our epic battle!

Li: I run inside to get my +3 bonus from urban fighting!

Lai Xi: Damn it!

DM: That doesn't work in a barn!

Li: Ha! I got a sword against your neck!

Lai Xi: Well I got your neck gripped!

Li: How does that help you?

Lai Xi: I've got a higher initiative then you, I could crush your neck before your turn.

Li: There's no way-

Lai Xi: I can totally roll a 20.


Lai Xi:......

Li:.... Draw?

Lai Xi: Draw.

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