Friday, 29 January 2010

Lets Watch Viper's Creed: Part 4

What an Innocent looking child, I hope a terrorist doesn't kidnap her.

Terrorist: Terrorism....

Off Screen Scientist: OK, pay attention! This is important to the plot! The terror bots sometimes have two kinds of bombs, ones that go off now... and others that go stick to cars and go off later.

Guy: Question, why would they release the time delay ones when we can see them doing it? Wouldn't it make more sense just to... carry a bomb and place it somewhere without us knowing about it?
Off Screen Scientist: Because shut up.
Guy: Your just mad because James cut you out! Your character sucks!

Off Screen Scientist: He can't cut me out forever! I become important towards the end!
James: We'll see.
Norma: Eh, Pass.... I don't want to do this job.

Rudra: Huh, that's odd.... Norma doesn't usually pass up the chance to earn some money-

Sak: Oh my god! Rudra's head is upside down! He's possessed! Kill it with fire!

Once out of the room Norma begins to run very quickly.

Is... is that supposed to be money? Or gold? Why would Norma have this much gold on hand? I mean, the government doesn't let you have gold bar's now, I doubt they would start giving them out after the world floods.

Norma: Don't worry Mary, I'll save you....

Bad Guy: You got the money/gold/unknown form of currency?

Norma: It's all in this case... Just let the girl go.

Har: Oh hey Norma! What'ch doing? I- eh... Oh look at that, we have a website... Why did no one tell me we had a website?

Bad Guy: You brought a friend?!Then you both die!

This is a rather odd scene because the guy shoots at Har twice, then once at Norma... completely missing them despite being pretty much point blank range... Everyone just pauses awkwardly for a few seconds until the bad guy makes a run for it.

Saki detects that the plot is moving forward! Also he hears the gun shots.

Sak: Why did you call me down her? If bringing me to the bad side of town is your idea of a date-

Sak: Oh my god! Norma's been shot!...... I really hope this isn't your idea of a date Saki.

Doctor: I'm afraid Norma has come down with a bad case of Haud screen vicis....

Sak: What does that mean doctor?

Doctor: Well normally main characters are immune to bullets, but this only applies so long as they remain on the screen. Norma has had very little screen time, thus increasing the chances of getting shot off-screen.

Sak: So the only way to avoid getting shot is to be on the screen all the time?

Doctor: Oh that actually makes it worse, it's called the suspectus effect, after having too much screen time you'll actually start to attract bullets... I'm a writing a book on it.

Saki: Well so long as she'll recover... Oh by the way... There's this chick standing behind me... who is she and what is she doing here?

Doctor: Urr, Saki there's nobody there.

Saki: Oh no! It's happening again!

Saki: kate! Kate! KATE!!!!!

Norma: Ah! Who's screaming!

Sak: Don't get up! Your still hurt!

Norma: No.... I have to go....

Saki: Because the people who took Mary also have the bomb attached to their car.

Sak: What? How did you know that? Oh my god! You do have plot powers! We're you bitten by a radioactive director? Is that where your powers come from?

Saki: Urr.... No... The kidnapper's sent Norma this picture and that's the car our security system flagged.

Sak: Oh ok.... Wait, why do you have her phone? Did you take her stuff when you found her down that alley?

Saki:..... Sorry, my bad.

Norma: We have to save Mary... Because... She's my daughter!

Dun dun dun. In a surprise twist Norma is even more of a generic female character then I thought!

Terrorist: Well since the bitch didn't pay us she must not love the kid, and kid's without love should die. *Points his gun at Mary*


Terrorist: Ah! What the hell is that?

Bad guy: Boss!... There's a bomb on our car!

Terrorist: What? How the hell did we miss that?

Terrorist: Wait wait wait! I have a plan... It's madness.... but hear me out... We'll leave the bomb here with the girl.... But we'll leave.... so when it explodes we'll be somewhere else.

Bad Guy: That's crazy!

Norma: Don't worry Mary I'll get you out of here- Holy shit! What time is it? I'm gonna miss Grey's Anatomy!

KABO--ooomm... That was kinda of a pathetic explosion...

Norma: Finally it's over....

Gar: So considering this episode was about Norma... she didn't really get that much screen time...

Saki: Oh no she did, James just skipped most of her scenes cause he thinks she's a total tool.

Norma: Why does no one love me.....

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