Lets Watch Ironman: Part 6

Hacker: I'll show Tony! I'll show them all!


Penny: Hey Tony, I wanted to check in on you... See how your settling into Japan-


Tony: Last night I slept with 10 different people.... one after the other.... I don't even know who they were...


Penny:.... I'm hanging up now Tony.

Tony: Ok Penny, catch ya later.


Tony: The hell? My security systems on the blitz?


Tony: Couldn't be anything wrong with my system so the only logical explanation is....


Tony: Oh my god! It finally happened! The robots have rebelled! I knew this day would come!

Tony: Oh Tan! Thank god I found you, quick we have to escape to my bunker and work on repopulating the earth after the robot revolution is over.

Tan: Tony, the robots aren't rebelling... someones just trying to hack our systems... I mean it's not like you would design sentient AI just so you could put them into menial work like dusting.

Tony:...... Oh...... OH! Yes! Hahaha! Of course not.... That would make me a monster.

Robot: Master...? What is a soul?

Tony: Quiet you!


Tony:... Sooooo.... about that hacker?


Tan:... Right.... the Hacker... Urmm... Yeah he seems to be trying to take over all our systems so he can get to the Arc reactor.

Tony: Hahaha, what? Are you stupid? That's not how hacking works. The reactor isn't even connected to the power grid let alone any sort of Internet cable... You'd have to be a massive retard to attach it's operations to the Internet.

Tony: Oh i get it! I bet your one of those people who think Hacking is all about silly little pictures clogging up your screen.

Tan: Tony I know-

Tony: Oh no Tan! He's hacked all our Isp's! What will we ever do? I guess he'll just take over a highly complex and completely solitary system using his leet skills.

Tan: Tony you don't-

Tony: Oh no Tan! He's gonna hack the whole country and make all the traffic and trains go crazy!

Tan: Look just-

Tony: Uh oh! The banks will be in trouble now! They'll just start shooting out money for no reason at all!

Tan: Don't be such a je-

Tony: Well I guess I'd have to take responsibility and trap the virus in my Armour, because that would totally make sense.

Tan: If you would-

Tony: Finally I'd have to have a metaphysically battle with the virus itself....

Tony: In the form of a giant shark....

Tony: And that is what a retarded person thinks hacking is.

Tan:.... You done?

Tony: Yes.

Tan: Well we still have to do something about it.

Tony: Ok, watch this.... Computer, block the hacker.

Computer: Done Sir.

Tony: There, was that really so hard?

Tan: Wait, you have an Ai assistant?

Tony: Of course I do, I take him everywhere with me... I'd be an absolute retard not bring him to Japan with me.

(The anime doesn't have his computer assistant... despite the fact it could solve the vast majority of his problems)

Lets Watch Ironman: Part 5

Tony: Ok.... If I can just work this out I can have the rest of day to goof around...

Computer: It's nice to see you doing actual work for once... Wait.... What is that?

Tony: What? My orange Juice?

Computer:.... Tony... That is not orange juice..... It's giving off radiation....

Tony:..... Ok.... I'll level with you.... It's not orange juice.

Computer: What is it then?

Tony: Well.... You know how the arc station is nuclear powered? Well they were shipping out some of the waste product... and I just helped myself to some...

Computer: Tony-

Tony: And like 10 bottles of unlabeled alcohol.


Computer: Tony, you cant drink that.

Tony: Pfft, what are you? My mum? Just chill out ok? Whats the worst that could happen?









Tony: AUUURGGG..... Oawww... My head....

Computer: Tony your awake!

Tony: Urggg..... Not so loud.... Where-







Tony: What the f***! Computer! Computer! How the f*** did I get into space!

Computer: Well.... You've.... Umm..... been busy....

Tony: Like doing what?

Solider: Sir, we have a problem.... it's Tony.... Hes gone banana's.

Saku: Finally snapped huh?

Solider: No... What I mean is.... he's actually stolen every banana within 50 miles.... something about them trying to take over his mind.

Soilder: Oh god! He just robbed another liquor store!

Saku: My god....

Medic1: What happened to this guy?

Medic2: Tony spat in his face, and he instantly got alcohol poisoning.

Medic1: Jesus!

Solider: Tony Stark! Get down on the floor!

Tony: Hahaha! Foolish puppet, you can not have the gold, for I control the rainbow!


Tan: Oh god there all dead!

Computer: Tony! Listen to me! Painting the suit gold and putting on giant rockets will not let you speak to plants!

Tony: Silence talking box! I have a world to dazzle!

Tony: hello good sir! Do you know the way to the haberdashers!

Pilot: AHH! Holy shit!

Tony: Mother! I have become a star!

Zodiac: What the hell? How did Iron Man find us? In space?

Iron Man: I'm gonna have space sushi!

Zodiac: Wha-AHHHH!

*CRACK*

Computer: Then you went unconscious for a few hours.

Tony: Huh... Well... I've had worse.... But just in case every ones still pissed lets get our story straight.

Computer: What story? Everyone knows you did it?

Tony: Nope.... A skrull did it.

Computer:.... Are you suggesting we just tell everyone an alien disguised as you went on a massive bender? Isn't that a betrayal to everyone you know? Just freeing yourself from any and all obligations to explaining yourself?

Tony: Shhh, do you hear that? That's the sound of the skrull plotting once again...

Computer: Hrmmm....

Lets Watch Ironman: Part 4

Everyone is having a fun time at Tony's race car exhibition.

Tony: Hey beautiful, your alot like that car.... it's gonna be a tight fit, but oh so satisfying.

Tan: Ah, I see you've already started drinking...

Tony: Started? Baby, I haven't stopped.


The next day...

Tony: Ah, nothing like the sound of engines to cure a headache...

Driver: Target found....

Driver: Eliminating Tony Stark!

???: Woosh!


Wolverine: Sup.

Tony:.... Logan.... What the f*** doing in my show?

Terminator: Tony Stark! I am from the future present! You will pay for your crimes against my metallic brothers!

Tony:..... Ok, that's it.... I'm leaving now.

Tony: God damn.... I can't take even a day off in japan without the X-men or some over zealous toaster getting all up in my face.

Computer: Sir.... That... Erm.... Toaster just sent you an e-mail... he wants to fight.

Tony: Erg, fine. If it'll get him off my back.

Computer: What do you think he meant by your crimes Tony?

Tony: Hahaha, like I care what a machine thinks.

Computer: Hrmmmmm....

Iron Man: Ok, I'm here, lets do this quickly.... I'm gonna have my hair cut at 12.

Taurus: Foolish Iron Man! I shall crush you!

Tony: Erg! Okay.... your a bit strong, but lets see you handle-

Wolverine: Woosh!

Tony: F*** you Logan!

Marvel Anime

Hahaha.

Ok we need to talk about this Marvel. What your doing is stupid. What your doing is also just a declaration of something I talked about for a while… the loss of western animation over eastern animation (When you’re not just copying the style but actually having eastern studios do your shows for you… la sigh), but were not here to talk about that…. No were hear to talk about why your being stupid by trusting the Japanese with these shows.

Now you might not know, but when the Iron Man anime came out quite a few people were pretty pissed, or just disappointed (I’m in the latter). See what happened was they released an amazing test trailer for it, it was right up there with some great animations… and then the show started… and all the robot models were… 3d….

This is a problem I’ve had with the Japanese for a while now. I remember when they started first doing it (yes that’s how long I’ve been watching anime) where they’d replace certain things with 3d. Slowly however it became more frequent and now major pieces were turned 3d, most notably the giant robots.

This is horrible.

3d mixed with 2d has never looked good. I know why they do it… its much cheaper and less labour intensive to use 3d modelling, but it looks like someone shat on a whiteboard. I have stopped watching shows because they use 3d for all of their fights…. Because it just looks so bad.

The big problem with 3d of course is that it’s very rigid, where the main strength of any animation is its fluidity. So when you replace scenes that would have looked awesome and flowing with 3d it just looks… it looks like a kid smacking two action figures together.

Now the point I’m getting to Marvel is this is how the Japanese will treat your shows. Do you know why Iron Man is 3d? Because the studio making it put all their best people on a different project. I’m not saying the Japanese did that cause there racists… it’s just they might be racist.

Marvel you need to understand some things… despite what you might think 3d has always looked terrible, and those cartoons you had made recently all look like balls. The Japanese are not going to put their best effort into your shows…. Which means they will not pierce their market. You need to look no further than the Xbox to see how well your brand will perform in japan Marvel… Despite my fan boying the xbox is not a bad console… but the Japanese will always buy the Japanese product. The only reason the IPhone did so well in Japan is because there wasn’t a Japanese equivalent of it (I’m not making that up).

So while your attempts to attract a new foreign market is likely to crash and burn I did want to say one thing Marvel…

Love the shows. They are so retarded and cliché they remind me of the good old days. I can’t wait for the X-men anime and the Blade anime…. Man… Just thinking about how stupid they’ll be is making me all giddy inside.