Lets Watch Ironman: Part 2

Kur: Mr Stark.... I want to ask you a serious question.... Did you try to smuggle weapons grade plutonium into Japan?

Tony: Plutonium?

*A few days ago...*

Tony:.... Awww.... I'm so baked right now..... F******.... I still need to get some plutonium for that free energy mathingy... Computer! Order me up some A grade plutonium!

Computer: Sir? Isn't that dangerous... not to mention highly illegal?

Tony: Shuuut uuuuppp! I don't remember programming you to be a bitch!

Computer: Hrmm... No I don't suppose you would.


Tony: Hrmm, nope, doesn't ring a bell.

Kur: Well anyway I need you to head down into the council chambers, you know... just put people at ease.

Government Man: Tony Stark! Did you try to smuggle plutonium into Japan?

Tony: Ahem-

Tony: I'm being set up!

(I seriously had to get a picture of that to prove to you that is what he actually says, half the stuff that makes Tony seem like a dick in this Lets Watch is actually stuff he's doing)

Tony: Oh hey there! Can I get another ride? There are some really pissed off people back there.

Nan: Urr.... Sure.

Tony: Oh wow, this your boyfriend or something?

Mas: Oh no I'm just the-

Tony: Well that's a relief! It'd be awkward to find out that you could no longer pleasure Nan physically after I've worked here. Seriously, years from now she will cry herself to sleep, because she knows whoever she marries will be nowhere near as amazing as me.


Nan:.....

Mas: I'm sad now...

Tony: So who's hungry? I'm thinking Taco's.


Nan: Well hopefully the police will find that plutonium soon... Hopefully it'll show who was behind this.

Tony: Oh I've got a feeling no one will ever find out...

Nan: Oh no, if they actually get their hands on it it wouldn't be hard to trace.

Tony:... What?

Nan: Yeah these days dangerous substances like that come with unique atomic codes you can use to track all sorts of things, like buyers for example.





Tony: Stop the f***ing car.


Tony: Computer! Did you put my name down on that order!

Computer: Well of cou-

Tony: Oh you useless piece of crap! I knew I shouldn't have been drunk when I made an AI!.... It's ok, I can fix this.... I just got to get it before the police do...

Iron Man:.... Hey Kur?

Kur: Oh hello Stark-....Are... Are Iron Man right now?

Iron Man: Yeah maybe- Look I went to the ship and I couldn't find any leads, so I was wondering-

Kur: Oh! While you were there did you see any survivors?

Iron Man: Survivors?


*Moments ago*
Survivor: Oh thank god your here! Some weird guys came in and took the plutonium!

Iron man: Don't worry! I'm gonna send for help!

Survivor: Oh thank you Mr Stark! We'll get your plutonium back yet!

Iron Man:.... Oh..... I see..... Hrmmm...







Iron Man: Oh look at that! The ship and all the evidence suddenly exploded!


Iron Man: Nope, no survivors.



Tony: Good thing I can follow the radiation to find those bastards.

Computer: Sir, why are you taking your car, and not the suit?

Tony: Well I never get to drive this thing.... She's been lonely you know.

Terrorist 1: Hahaha! No one can stop us!

Terrorist 2: Hey! Some guy is following us!

Terrorist 1: Ha! What he going to do? Give us a speeding ticket? Hahaha-


Terrorist 1: Oh my god it shoots missiles!

Tony: Shit, missed.... I'll get you yet!

Saku: Hey! Stop destroying things! Stop breaking the Law damn it!

Tony: Haha, silly man, laws don't apply to me.... Now check this shit out-


Iron Man: I'm Iron Car.

Computer: Arrgrggggg.....

Cancer: I am Cancer! A powerful Kn-

Iron Man: PUNCH! Hey guess what!

Cancer: AHHHH! What!

Iron Man: LASERS!

Cancer: AHHHHHHHH!


Today's top story, Iron Man retrieves plutonium, Tony Stark quoted:

Tony: I am about to hand it over to the police! Opps! I just shot it into space! I guess we will never know who bought it now! Oh well!


Kur: So.... What did you think of Tony Stark?

Saku: He is an A grade Asshole.

Lets Watch Ironman: Part 1

Tony: Ah Japan.... So we meet at last...

Stewardess: Ur... Mr Stark? Don't you think it's a bit early to start drinking?

Tony: Well that depends, don't you think it's a bit early to be a bitch?

Tanaka: It's a pleasure to meet you Mr Stark-

Tony: Wait, your supposed to be a scientist? Hot. You should sleep with me.

Tan: That's... Highly inappropriate Mr Stark-

Tony: No seriously, sleeping with me will do wonders for your career.

Kurodo: I'm glad you chose Japan to build your free energy project Mr Stark.

Tony: Yeah some dick said I couldn't make free energy, this should show that asshole....

Kurodo: Wasn't that the... President?

Tony: Yeah that guys a douche, I'm gonna get him fired.

Kurodo: Are.... Are you drunk?

Tony: No....





Tony: Yes.



Tony: Well its nice to finally meet the pilots of the new Ironman, I'll be stepping away from teh stage to give you boys a chance to shine.

Pilot: Really? Thanks Mr Stark!

Tony: No problem! I know you guys have been training for this for years, I wouldn't take that away from you.


Tony: WOOOO! F*** YEAH!



Pilot: Man, that guy is a dick!



Tony: Oh shit.... Shouldn't have opened the helmet... gonna throw up....



Tony: F**********!


ReporterGirl: Oh my god! You just destroyed that entire road!

Tony: Yeah.... That happens sometimes... Want to give me a ride? I'll give you one in return...

Rep:... What?



Tan: Tony, we need to talk.

Tony: Oh hey, how are you doing?

Tan: Tony... I'm being serious here, I just heard you destroyed an entire motorway, and now there are rumors you slept with the first person you met afterwards...

Tony: Haha.... Yeah.... I hit her like I hit that road....


Tan: Look Tony, you can't just go around destroying things and sleeping with whoever-

Tan: Oh my god! The new Iron man just went crazy and killed the new pilots!

Tony: Phew, thank god... Thought she'd never shut up.

Tan: What did you say?

Tony: Urr.... I said I'll be right there!


What evil will the new Iron Man inflict! Who can stop him!







Iron Man: Boo-yah Motherf***er!



Iron Man: Haha, I kicked your ass.


Iron Man: Whoa! What the hell are you?

Scorpio: I am Scorpio! A powerful knight of the Zodiac! We have come to-

Iron Man: Hey guess what?

Scorpio: What?

Iron Man: I don't give a f***.

Scorpio:.... What?





Scorpio: AHHHHHHHHHH!

Iron Man: Hahahaha! Today has been a good- Awww.... someone stole the suit... wait... I'm in Japan...


Iron Man: Curse you Ninjas!

Anime Storytelling

Ok, I feel like I must talk about this.

For once Japan I'll let you off a bit, put you aside for something I loath even more...

Anime Fans.


GRRRRRR.


I really must stop reading anime forums, they really frustrate me. Basically in these places certain shows are held quite high, but... I hate these shows. These shows can go burn in hell for all I care. I honestly can not understand the attraction of some of these things. But what gets me the most, what really grinds my gears is the massive amount of hypocrisy floating about.

I won't name name's but one Anime blogger complained that they didn't understand what was going on in the anime SRW. At first I was like "Ok yeah, fair. SRW is more of a nostalgia anime made for the fans and not for you, so you can complain that you don't know whats going on I guess..." but then the same blogger will love this other anime because it doesn't make any god damn sense.

...What?

Now before you think, oh grumpy old james probably just doesn't 'get it' but I assure you I do. I've watched this kind of stuff before... It's made on purpose to not make any sense at the start (And perhaps throughout the whole thing).

Then I saw people who didn't understand what was going on in Iron Man.... It's f***ing Iron man, this isn't detailed stuff!

The catch phrase of anime fans seem to be 'the Pace was off' as if they understood what the f*** pace was. I honestly can't tell what these people are thinking... or what their watching... To me everything was fine, expect in Star Driver (I.E the one that makes no sense) where the pace really is all over the f***ing place. Let me break it down for you, from memory this is what we learned from the first episode of these three animes:

Iron Man-

• There is a guy called Tony Stark
• He is Iron Man
• He has come to Japan to make free energy
• He wants to retire and makes a new Iron Man suit for some trainee pilots.
• Something goes wrong with the new suit, it goes crazy and starts killing people.
• Tony Takes it the f*** down.
• A weird robot attacks him and declares his evil group. Tony doesn't give a f*** and kills him.
• The new suit is stolen during the fight.

What did you miss there? These are some very basic plot points that are very easy to understand. None of it goes too fast not to hear or understand, all it does is create the setting and adds the bad guys... Boom bang you've got your plot. Anything else is just characterising Tony.

I'm not trying to call you stupid.... I'm just saying... You might be stupid if you somehow missed all that.

SRW

• There is a bad Robot killing people
• Bad Robot is beaten by good robot, foreshadowing future events perhaps? (yes)
• The setting is then explained very clearly.
• You meet the main characters fighting in a war that has been explained to you.
• New robots appear, friends or enemy's?

As much as I like SRW the basic plot is pretty straight forward, by the end of it only really has one good idea behind it all. But where the show excels is the cool looking robots, there using the old fashioned kind of 80's design (But I really like those), the characters, and the action... lots of action.

I honestly could not tell you what part of all this doesn't make sense... I mean... are you complaining that we don't know some of these characters? These characters we are meeting for the first f***ing time? Did you not catch the bit where the setting was clearly explained? I mean really? Help me out here? My brain isn't stupid so I'm having trouble comprehending your thought patterns.

Star Driver

• WTF?

Haha, ok that's actually not true... I'll go over why it makes no sense in a bit.

• There are... characters?
• The main character is insane and has some kind of father issue.
• There is a school on an... island?
• The school is secretly a base for giant... puppet... mechs?
• There are bad guys who don't like shrine maidens. By... hitting them they break their seals?
• The main character turns into David Bowie.
• The day is saved... for now!

Here, right here is when you could have said the pacing was waaaayyy off. This shit is on LSD. All the sudden scene changes are kind of jarring.... the worst one is when we go from the school, and with only a single line we are suddenly in an underground fetish cultist base. That was really sudden, and you could get lost there and then.

Star Driver is the kind of anime that only anime fans can watch... Anyone else would be "Wtf is this shit?" unless your already deranged. Now I did watch Utena and no, that did not make any coherent sense at all... I'm pretty sure when you watched it, you were having a fever dream... I'm positive that when you switch that show on all your seeing is flashing images that makes your brain wig the hell out.

So I am familiar with the antics of the guys behind Star Driver.

Now with Star Driver we'll no doubt be hitting on some serious metaphysical aspects, these are the writers bed and butter. At one point or another it'll click for viewers what this all probably means.... So this anime is symbolic of something....

Now... Hang on... I remember saying something about symbolism.... what was it... Oh yeah! I don't get it! I look at things like Utena and Star Driver and try to make sense of it, give it natural laws and so on... but it doesn't work for these things so they really don't make any god damn sense to me.

Also these guys are quite happy with exploring sexual themes... So... Yeah.... It could get real gay real fast. Just giving you the heads up, Haha.

Anyway, back to the point. I dislike Anime fans because for the 'hardcore' everything needs to be tripped out on fricken sex or LSD before they'll even look at it. When a story is set in a fantastic setting and makes actual sense they shrug their shoulders.

I mean really? Get off the drugs guys.

Anime: Iron Man

Well it's finally out, so I thought I'd say a few things about it cause I think it's actually an interesting study.


Now the whole thing is clearly based on the new Iron Man films, but this only applies to the aesthetics. Anyone who's only watched the Iron Man films, or has never seen anime in general might be a bit put off the way Tony Stack has been played.

Of course the problem is the films showed is the best tony stark ever, Robert Downy Jr is bursting with personality and he doesn't just act like Tony Stark... He becomes him. Now the way Tony acts in the films is as a exaggerated American celebrity, he causes controversy where he ever he goes... but damn he is so cool you don't care.

Now in the anime Tony is very different from this... I don't know what Japanese people consider rude and so on, but I had a feeling that this how they'd expect an eccentric billionaire to act. Tony is a rather polite gentlemanly individual... but he's also really rude.

The single best line comes after this: *Context, Tony is in the car with a female reporter, uh oh!*

Reporter: I honestly don't know what to ask you...
Tony: Well how about this! I'll show you a secret of mine that not many people know....
Reporter: What? What secret?
Tony: Like... How I kiss...

Tony starts going for the kiss, but then pulls the handbrake and ditch's her, I half expected him to go "Aaaaiiieee!".

The reason I think this is interesting is because usually the flirtatious character is a secondary character, he's the one that complicates the relationship of the show. But Tony is that character, so for that reason alone I think it'll be quite fun to watch.

So yeah, there was a fight to, against a 'zodiac' warrior... and I'm all for that, villains naming themselves after stuff like that is always fun. I'd say a good series... Nothing too heavy, nothing too light... just something that's fun to watch.

God, how long has it been since I've watched an anime like this?