Tuesday, 12 October 2010
Lets Watch Ironman: Part 2
Kur: Mr Stark.... I want to ask you a serious question.... Did you try to smuggle weapons grade plutonium into Japan?
Tony: Plutonium?
*A few days ago...*
Tony:.... Awww.... I'm so baked right now..... F******.... I still need to get some plutonium for that free energy mathingy... Computer! Order me up some A grade plutonium!
Computer: Sir? Isn't that dangerous... not to mention highly illegal?
Tony: Shuuut uuuuppp! I don't remember programming you to be a bitch!
Computer: Hrmm... No I don't suppose you would.
Tony: Hrmm, nope, doesn't ring a bell.
Kur: Well anyway I need you to head down into the council chambers, you know... just put people at ease.
Government Man: Tony Stark! Did you try to smuggle plutonium into Japan?
Tony: Ahem-
Tony: I'm being set up!
(I seriously had to get a picture of that to prove to you that is what he actually says, half the stuff that makes Tony seem like a dick in this Lets Watch is actually stuff he's doing)
Tony: Oh hey there! Can I get another ride? There are some really pissed off people back there.
Nan: Urr.... Sure.
Tony: Oh wow, this your boyfriend or something?
Mas: Oh no I'm just the-
Tony: Well that's a relief! It'd be awkward to find out that you could no longer pleasure Nan physically after I've worked here. Seriously, years from now she will cry herself to sleep, because she knows whoever she marries will be nowhere near as amazing as me.
Nan:.....
Mas: I'm sad now...
Tony: So who's hungry? I'm thinking Taco's.
Nan: Well hopefully the police will find that plutonium soon... Hopefully it'll show who was behind this.
Tony: Oh I've got a feeling no one will ever find out...
Nan: Oh no, if they actually get their hands on it it wouldn't be hard to trace.
Tony:... What?
Nan: Yeah these days dangerous substances like that come with unique atomic codes you can use to track all sorts of things, like buyers for example.
Tony: Stop the f***ing car.
Tony: Computer! Did you put my name down on that order!
Computer: Well of cou-
Tony: Oh you useless piece of crap! I knew I shouldn't have been drunk when I made an AI!.... It's ok, I can fix this.... I just got to get it before the police do...
Iron Man:.... Hey Kur?
Kur: Oh hello Stark-....Are... Are Iron Man right now?
Iron Man: Yeah maybe- Look I went to the ship and I couldn't find any leads, so I was wondering-
Kur: Oh! While you were there did you see any survivors?
Iron Man: Survivors?
*Moments ago*
Survivor: Oh thank god your here! Some weird guys came in and took the plutonium!
Iron man: Don't worry! I'm gonna send for help!
Survivor: Oh thank you Mr Stark! We'll get your plutonium back yet!
Iron Man:.... Oh..... I see..... Hrmmm...
Iron Man: Oh look at that! The ship and all the evidence suddenly exploded!
Iron Man: Nope, no survivors.
Tony: Good thing I can follow the radiation to find those bastards.
Computer: Sir, why are you taking your car, and not the suit?
Tony: Well I never get to drive this thing.... She's been lonely you know.
Terrorist 1: Hahaha! No one can stop us!
Terrorist 2: Hey! Some guy is following us!
Terrorist 1: Ha! What he going to do? Give us a speeding ticket? Hahaha-
Terrorist 1: Oh my god it shoots missiles!
Tony: Shit, missed.... I'll get you yet!
Saku: Hey! Stop destroying things! Stop breaking the Law damn it!
Tony: Haha, silly man, laws don't apply to me.... Now check this shit out-
Iron Man: I'm Iron Car.
Computer: Arrgrggggg.....
Cancer: I am Cancer! A powerful Kn-
Iron Man: PUNCH! Hey guess what!
Cancer: AHHHH! What!
Iron Man: LASERS!
Cancer: AHHHHHHHH!
Today's top story, Iron Man retrieves plutonium, Tony Stark quoted:
Tony: I am about to hand it over to the police! Opps! I just shot it into space! I guess we will never know who bought it now! Oh well!
Kur: So.... What did you think of Tony Stark?
Saku: He is an A grade Asshole.
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