Malaysian Adventures

Well reader I’m away in Malaysia at the mo, so I wouldn’t expect any new posts for at least a week, but since I knew your life would cave in without me I decided to drop you a line of what I’m up to.

I’ve been to Malaysia plenty of times and tend to arrive in Singapore for a few days before leaving for the island of Penang for the rest of my holiday. Have you heard of Singapore reader? I imagine you’ve at least heard of it somewhere since it’s a big business location but you really have to experience Singapore for yourself.

For example any that has been to Singapore will understand this joke:

Singapore is a fine city.

I shall explain this for you uncultured readers out there. Basically Singapore deals with their criminals by making them poor because every time you break a law you get a pretty hefty fine. You can actually get a fine for a lot of things it turns out. For example you know how they say you’ll get fined for drinking, eating, smoking etc in England? Nobody really takes it seriously and even if you are fined you’ll lose like £30 tops... In Singapore they take it pretty seriously, and for example if they see you dropping chewing gum on the floor you can expect to lose £250.

There is a pretty hilarious t-shirt you can get that names some of the sillier fines you can get (Like pissing in an elevator, heh).

When you go to Malaysia another thing becomes pretty clear, you know customer service right? It’s pretty much bare, people will give you like a menu and leave it at that, in places like Malaysia however if your waiter isn't going out of his way to make your day better he could probably get fired. It’s very pleasant when you raise your hand for something and they are fricken there, fast as they can. Same goes with taxies for some reason... raise your hand next to a road and bam! There’s a taxi.

But there are things that are a bit unpleasant and awkward.

Readers have you ever gone to a country where white people aren’t a majority? Then have you ever walked around by yourself? Honestly the stares you can get from some people. In England if you get stared at is because you’ve done something like dyed your hair green etc... and even if you wear the silliest thing you always feel a part of the crowed. Everyone sees you in Malaysia so it’s pretty important not to do anything stupid.

Also since your white you are obviously stupid. As in you’ll buy anything cause you’re a tourist and don’t know any better. Now I’ve been to Malaysia enough to know what’s what, but they’ll always assume your stupid and buy anything.

But I forgive the last guy who did this to me cause he got me to buy a film about Muay Thai basketball. Not a hard sell.