Lets Watch Heroman: Part 6

Lina: Brother!

Evil Will: AHHH! Painful flashbacks! Damn you childhood!

Julie: Quick! Lets escape in here!

Skrugg:..... Shouldn't we like.... stop them?

Evil Nick (Green shirt): Oh yeah....


Evil Nick: We've got you now!


Evil Nick: Son of a-

Boom

Army: Sir? We shot more missiles at it but it didn't work... again.

General: What? If it didn't work the first time, then why try it a second time? Just send in the observation team!

Pilot: That's weird, we cant tell what its made of... Hmm? Seems to be doing something?



Pilot: OH F***

Julie: Something was odd about Will.... I think he was being mind controlled!

Psh: What? So you thought he was with them willingly at first? Your a jerk Julie.

Denton: I think I found something on the giant pinballs.

Psh: Finally.

Julie: Oh wait, don't I need to pedal on the generator?

Denton:... Nah I got some batteries.

Julie:.... Then why the f*** did you make me pedal last time?

Denton: Anyway it seems there all heading in a straight line.... and one of them.... is heading for the white house!

Psh:..... So?

Denton:.... To the white house!

Psh: It's just a building.... we have more of those.


Julie: I think.... When Heroman was fighting them it just wanted to go past him.... So maybe they don't have drivers?

Psh: So you thought they had drivers at first? That would be the most retarded-


Kogorr: Rooko! Contact the pinballs! I want to know the status of the drivers!

Rooko: What? I thought you said the pinballs weren't important?

Kogorr: Ha! I tricked you again!

Rooko: Eh.... Erg.... Well I can't contact them anyway Sir.

Kogorr: Why not?

Rooko: Well Sir, I don't know what you were thinking when you designed them... but the interior is attached to the sphere.... so it moves with it.

Kogorr: So...?

Rooko: Everyone inside is dead Sir.

Kogorr:..... They died as hero's.

Lina: I want to help to!

Psh: You can't, your useless.

Lina: What's that got to do with anything? Julies useless too.

Julie: Hey!

(If you remember that Julie is a guy, this shot is kinda gay)

Later that day...

Lina: I can't believe all that's happened-

Julie: Ur... I don't want to be rude... but.... what's that noise?





Skrugg 1: Ha! Found them! Crush!

(The cornetto then flips over for a little bit and tires to crush them repeatedly, its very silly)

Skrugg 2: What are you doing! We have lasers!

Skrugg 1: Orders from Kogorr! Were only allowed to use the rush function.

Skurgg 1: Nehahaha! Got em!

Skrugg 1: Aw, no f***ing-

KABOOM!

Denton: Lets go team!


Watson: Sir, we may have a way of avoiding using Nukes.

President: Well? What is it?

Minami: I have the way Sir.... Neheheh.

President: Ah! Quick Watson! An alien has snuck in here! Shoot it!

Lets Watch Heroman: Part 5

Denton: Well, don't know about you but I'm going home.


Rooko: Sir... Me and some of the men have been talking... and... We feel you've become overly obsessed with something you only saw like five minuets ago.

Kororr: Be silent! This.... White warrior is strong.... But he can not defeat us! I must think on a new plan to get rid of him...

Rooko: What about all those pinballs you realised? Aren't you gonna do something with them?

Kogorr: Hmm? The what?

Rooko: The... The giant pinballs! You've just sent them rolling across the country side.... aren't you gonna do something else with them?

Kogorr: Quit living in the past! Think of the bigger picture!

Rooko: I-eh.... I need to take my medicine.

Green: Oh god, I hope they don't anally probe us.

Skurgg: Silence probe specimen!

Will:.... Please tell me that's not the anal probe.


Denton: Ok Julie, ride this thing for me so I can watch the news!

Psh: Why the hell do you have your own generator?

Denton: Electricity is expensive!

Reporter: Oh my god... An entire army is coming out of their ship! Once I go home I'll be rich and famous!

News Lady: I'm sorry we seem to have lost contact... something about melting flesh or something.

Julie: We'd better do something about that army.

Psh: Huh? What about the giant pinballs that are killing people? The Skrugg army's not doing anything yet, surely we should do something about the pinballs first?

Denton: I got something to help you!

Psh: Oh thank-

Denton: Against the Skurgg army!

Psh: God damn it!

Psh:.... Denton... What is that?

Denton: I used some of that alien tech on this guitar to make it a weapon!

Psh:.... Denton that is a guitar with a speaker duct taped to the bottom...

Denton: No see it's brilliant I've worked out that the aliens must contact each other through high pitch sounds! So that means they must hear a wider range of noises!

Psh: What are you a professor in? Bullshit?

Julie and Heroman engage in some guerrilla warfare, killing 14 in total.... out of thousands.... good job guys.

Psh: Holy shit how is this working!

Skrugg: Oh god! Your terrible! I can't live in a world where god would let someone like you play music!

(Yes, he actually complains they use the terrain... What?)

Rooko: Sir, it seems that white things appeared again.

Kogorr: Time to fight fire with fire... Begin my super plan!

Rooko:.... You gonna tell me what the plan is?

Kogorr:...... No.

Julie: Lina? What the hell are you doing here?

Lina: I was looking for my brother.

Julie: Oh that's cute- Look this is seriously dangerous, you can't be here.

Lina: It'll be fine as long as you protect me!

Julie: What? No.... That's the opposite of safe... I attract lasers and hate for no reason. Don't you think it's monstrously unfair to basically put me on the spot like this? What if the pressure of protecting you gets me killed?

Lina:..... Pleeeeease.

Psh: This plot is retarded!

Julie: Oh well, whats the worst thing that could happen.







Julie: Oh god lasers!


Julie: Quick! Run away through the subway!

Julie: Oh god damn it.
Psh: Great, were surrounded.

Lina: I'm helping!

Julie: So.... What are you like the gay Skrugg?


(What I don't understand is why Heroman doesn't just grab the weapon when the guy tires and blocks, and punch him with his left hand)

Dun dun dun!
Julie: OhMyGod!





Evil Will: Ah-ha! Surprised!

Julie: What? Oh no... It was really obvious... Just.... Wow..... How many shows are we ripping off right now?

Game Review: Mass Effect 2

Well it took awhile but I finally finished the second game in the mass effect series, and it was a good ride.
There is something I really like with the mass effect series, there's alot to like but this is one of my main ones. You can't be an unbelievable psycho. See a main flaw with many Bioware games is that when they give you evil options they always mess it up and make them either too evil or insane. I've got nothing against evil characters, the problem stems from the fact that evil characters are fundamentally motivated in vastly different ways then other characters. Bioware has this habit of putting the evil option in, but having nothing to back up or justify why the evil character is trying to *save* the kingdom/land/planet.

In Mass Effect you can be a badass. Oh you can be crazy and shoot alot of people that may have not dissevered it, but all the time regardless of your attitude you have a goal. So regardless to how you act it will make sense. I hope Bioware start making a habit of doing this instead.

On to the actual game then. When it was first announced everyone thought that the gameplay would have been 'dummed' down a bit for the console audience, and while slightly true is a bit unfair. The game has mostly been streamlined for a better overall experience in my opinion, and I did not miss the old way at all.

The really annoying space car sections have been taken out, but replaced with an equally annoying planet scan mini game you have to do. And I mean it, you really need to do if you want the best ending.

There are some bits of a storyline that make little to no sense, but these instants are thankfully short. The main game is a vast web of emotions and personal storeys that are excellent. If your anything like me you'll hunt down these things religiously just to get another bite.

To sum up, if you've played the first one and enjoyed it, then I'm afraid the second is a must buy.


*Spoilers*


At the end of the game you can get some or all of your party killed if you make the wrong choices and don't do side quests, and I've read comments around the game of this happening to people.

What?

I can not understand this. The only way for any member of your team to die is to basically refuse to play the game, I can not physically understand how people can play the game without doing these things. Ok perhaps they did do the side missions but none of the upgrades... What? Did you not think it was odd that you could buy upgrades that appeared to have no in game benefit? Did it not seem strange that you can ask your party for these upgrades? Did bells not start going off whenever you got one of these after a long side quest? Seriously how could anyone miss that?

Before you call me unfair, understand I'm not forgiving people that made the wrong choices at the end of the game. At the end you have to pick members of your team to do certain jobs, and if you pick the wrong ones they die. I'm sorry but its really obvious which members do which jobs. I mean it even says in their description what there good at.

As for the ending....

WTF? Seriously? A human shaped reaper? That shit is retarded.

When I was playing the first game and I met the reapers for the first time I started thinking of theories as to why they came and kill everyone every 50,000 years or so. One of my thoughts was actually that perhaps they needed organics for something.... But I dismissed that cause the reaper even said he hated organics and everything they stand for, so if he actually needed them for something that would make him a hypocrite and would make no sense...

But low and behold I was right, and it really doesn't make sense.

Really Bioware? Harvesting other races to make more of your own? Do you have any idea how many times that's been done? I'm going to say twelve. Point is Bioware have always been very bad when it comes to making a truly intimidating villain... Its because they have this nasty habit of giving away actual answers.... Now reader you have to understand, this is the literary equivalent of cancer.... it destroys all hope of a future. The only reason people get interested in something is out of curiosity.

Bioware seem like the sort of people that think on these big reveals so much they literally cant keep it to themselves and have to share it with everyone. Unfortunately it sometimes backfires. What they really should have done is kept the Reapers mysterious and alien, that way they would have come off as much bigger threats. At the moment they seem like villain surfers.

"Oh dude, we should like.... Totally descend on some people and kill them and do other weird things"
"Can't bro, portals broke"
"Oh bummer... Guess will just chill and float for awhile"

And what was one reaper gonna do exactly? Bravely attack the citadel before all the ships guarding it blow it into a million pieces? It's also suggested that the collectors are targeting earth. Oh that would have gone well, after attacking barely defended planets they must be pretty pumped to attack a place that probably has a giant laser on its moon.

The reapers apparently have this ability of taking over peoples minds... I don't think it works like that.... I think it just makes you as stupid as they are.