Lets Watch Heroman: Part 2

Julie: Ok.... Its cool that you saved Lina from that fire and all.... but why did you have to put a hole in my wall?
Julie: And its not like this is a controller.... I just press it and you do whatever you like.... Also why does your giant form look nothing like your toy form?

Stan Lee: Magic!

James: Ah! Stan Lee? What are you doing here?

Stan Lee: I helped make this!

James: That.... That explains so much.

Julie: Ok.... Lets just test out your power on this... old.... metal thing....






Julie:..... Ok it caught on fire after you punched it.... That.... That worries me.

Villian (Now known as Kogorr, nice): Send out our Anal Probes!

Rooko: *Sigh* I wish you wouldn't call them that Sir....

Kogorr: Fine! We'll go back to the old name! Go! Spread fear and terror Space Cornetto's!

Rooko: How... How did you get this job again?


Lina: Hey Julie! You'll never guess! I was saved by a Robot.... Who may also have been a vampire werewolf!

Julie: *Uh oh, for some reason it would be very bad if she learned I sort of saved her life!* I had nothing to do with that! I have to go mow the lawn!


Man, I knew the setup was that Julie's poor but.... Wow, that's just another level of poor.

Psh: Ok... So let me get this straight.... Your broken toy turns into a lightning robot and your worried cause it's too powerful.... Have you been sniffing paint again?

Julie: I told you those days were behind me!

Psh: I want to believe you.... But then you come to me with shit like this.

BeamBeamBeam
Kevor: Greetings other lifeforms! Bow to our glory!

Davoor: There.... There not bowing!

Kevor: Quick! Show them our glowy staffs! That always works!

(This is an odd scene cause you have the crowed of humans, but then your thinking the aliens are gonna blow their brains up or something with their staffs.... But all it does is cause a minor amount of pain.... and then it stops.... and its like, wtf was the point of that?)

Stanop: Well.... They seem surprised at least.

Police: Put down your weapons or we will fire!

The Aliens response


Davoor: Why are they throwing tiny bits of metal at us?
Kevor: Perhaps this is how they greet others!
Stanop: Oh dude, I think they might be pissed, that metal box might have been their god or something.

Police: Guns.... Do not work? The American Dream is over!

Kogorr: Ah! I see the invasion goes well!
Kevor: Actually Sir... Urr.... Davoor just wanted to recharge one of their metal boxs....But it turns out they don't use anti-matter as a form of energy.
Kogorr: Huh, that's stupid. Anyway, get me the man that contacted us! I will use him as a sample!
Kevor: Can do Si-
Kogorr: A butt sample! Gonna probe that thing so much!

Radio: So... People are reporting aliens? Did someone spike our water supply again?

Julie: Wait... Aliens?.... Oh god Denton!

Kevor: Hey... Sorry about the fence, you the guy that contacted us?

Denton: Why yes I am!
Kevor: Ok.... You need to come with us.
Denton: Oh! Am I gonna be an envoy for the human race?

Kevor: Urr.... No.... Our leaders.... Gonna butt probe you...

Denton:...... What?

Kevor: Yeah sorry.
Julie: I'll save you Denton! Hero Make up!

(Ok Internet, that is a joke, under no circumstances is anyone allowed to ever do a picture of that.... If you do my head will explode)

Stanop: What the? That robot just grew huge! How is that even poss-


Kevor: Well shit.
Davoor: Oh god! Make it stop!
Kevor: Wait wait wait! Lets talk about this!

Lightning+ Punch = Dead Kevor

Rest in piece.
Heroman does his best Big O impression.

Lina: You saved us Julie!
Julie: Urr.... That's right! All me!

Inwardly Heroman curses the three laws of robotics.

Kogorr: Haha! Now engage the stealth system!

Rooko: Sir... They've..... They've already seen us.... and besides we don't have a stealth system.

Kogorr:..... Prepare to fire the lazers!

Rooko: *Sigh*

Magic The Gathering: New Rules

Ok, I know what your thinking.

But hear me out.

Shut up.

Alright, if it wasn't clear before it should be now... I like card games! I blame yugioh for rekindling my love of the game in all it's forms, so I went back and got my old decks and showed them to my friends. They all agreed, they were piss annoying. Seems I have a natural talent of making decks that are just really irritating, they don't win me the game but my foe's curse my name as they sleep.... and that's a kind of victory.

Anyway, to the point. To those of you who know the card game Magic, I have a special treat for you. Now the normal game is fun, but I get bored very easily.... so sometimes I need to mix things up a little... by that I mean I make up new rules. So if you do play magic and are your looking to try some new ways to play, here you go-

Soul Card Rules

*Decks need to be exactly 60 cards in total. You can change the max size of the deck however you want, but all players must have the same size deck.

*Pick a card, which from now on will be called your Soul Card (My friends and I sometimes like to call it the King or Emperor card). Usually you should pick a legend to be your Soul Card, if you don't have any legends then either somehow mark the card out or remove all copies of it from your deck.

*Now your Soul Card has some new abilities, the main one being you can cast it for free. That's right, on turn one if its in your hand you can just play it. Why do I have this rule? Because funnily enough you might not want to play it. Now whenever your Soul Card would be exiled or put in your graveyard for whatever reason, instead its shuffled into your deck. So effectively your Soul Card will remain in the game no matter what.

*Now you need to leave space for a new exiled pile.

*When ever you lose life, for every 1 point of life you lose reveal the top card of your deck and put it in the new exiled pile. Whenever you gain life for every 1 point of life you gain take a card from this new exiled pile and shuffle it back into your deck (If you have no cards left in the new exiled pile, then gaining life does nothing). Gaining life does not negate damage (I.E If you took 4 damage then gained 4 life you'd still lose four cards from the top of your deck first).

*You lose the game when either you run out of cards from your deck, or your Soul Card is discarded from your deck via damage (The soul card can not be the target of spells and abilities from your opponents while it is in your deck).

Your probably thinking, wow that means I basically have 60 life right? -WRONG. The fun of this game is the fact that you could literally be taken out at any moment. That 1 damage you used to laugh at? Now it might kill you. That 40 damage combo your opponent just flew your way? There's a chance you'll live through that now. The game becomes incredibly tense, and a bit of luck and balls are needed to see you through it (One time I could've blocked 20 damage, but I trusted my deck and just took it and lived).

This is why you might not play your Soul Card for free, unless your against a discard deck your hand is usually the safest place for it. If you play your Soul Card and it gets killed, well you've just put yourself in a heap of trouble. But at the same time if your deck gets hit too much then it might cripple your entire strategy.

Some cards take on new and horrifying meanings, like the devastating lose half your life spells. Yep, that means you'll lose half your deck (But you can't lose because of this, your Soul Card would just shuffle back into your deck). Mill decks are arguably overpowered now (Still discard your deck via abilities won't lose you the game) so you'll have to decide yourself wither you'll allow them or not.

Tag

*All players must each have two 60 card decks.

*Each player begins with 20 life and one of the decks.

*The game plays normally expect with one new ability.

*During a players untap step he may declare a 'Tag'. The game then enters the 'Tag' Phase.

*Spells and Abilities can not be played during the 'Tag' phase (any instants must be played before the player declares a tag, any instants played during the tag phase are destroyed and have no effect).

*First count the number of cards in your hand, the number of lands you have on the field, and the converted mana cost of all cards you have in play. Shuffle all these cards back into your deck.

*Swap the first deck out with your second deck.

*Look through the second deck until you find the same number of lands the other deck had out in play.

*Add X to your manapool equal to the total converted mana of the permanents that were 'swapped out'. During the 'tag' phase mana in your manapool counts as all five colours. You may then 'place' permanents from your deck onto the field using this mana. Any mana not used this way disappears.

*Shuffle your deck, then draw X cards, where X is the number of cards the other decks hand had.

*Permanents with abilities that read 'when comes into play' do not activate, due to the fact that they were swapped in and not 'played'.

*All Creatures that are swapped in gain summoning sickness for that turn.

*Each player has only one graveyard, and cards from it do not get shuffled back into your deck during a tag.

*Any permanents on your side of the field that do not belong to that deck are destroyed during the tag phase.

It might be pretty confusing at first, but basically all your doing is swapping your two decks places. This creates a half-mad game, because half the time its going on like you'd expect.... then someone Tags and all hell breaks loose, usually resulting in everyone else tagging as well. This game can easily create turn winners, but for the casual player there alot of fun just to mess around with.

You've probably already noticed that some card types are great in this mode, while others have been crippled, have fun trying them out.

True Two Headed Giant

*Each player must have a 60 card deck. The players then separate into two teams of two. (To make the game less confusing, each player should use a different coloured deck, you'll see why)

*Shuffle your deck into your partners deck to create a team deck. (Yes I'm serious)

*Each team starts with 40 life.

*All players draw seven cards from their team deck.

*During Each players upkeep he may look at his partners hand and trade one of his cards for one of theirs.

Basically what happens is a cluster f***. There are two reasons for making the decks different colours, the first is because it'd be pointless to use say two black decks... why not use a 120 black deck all the time instead? (it takes the fun out of it basically). The other reason is so it's easier to spilt them up afterwards.

Every turn your left with a choice, do you try to stick to a mono colour? Or do you embrace your partners deck and try to use his cards.


Chaos

*First you need 800 cards (Don't give me that look, its not that hard to get).

*Shuffle the f*** out of them.

*Try to get ahold of about 50 land cards to create a separate pile. (Unequal number of colours for best result)

*Take a random pile out of the 800 cards, this is now the deck.

*Place the deck and the land deck on the field.

*Each player has 10 life.

*Each player draws seven cards from the deck.

*Every turn (Including the first one) each player may either draw from the deck or the land deck.

*After every game shuffle the 800 cards and choose a new deck at random.


This one.... is....


CRAZY AWESOME.

Report: After 142 Episodes of Yugioh

142.

In alot of contexts 142 could be an impressive number. Perhaps you read 142 books? Maybe you wrote 142 reports? Found 142 new spices? Saved 142 lives?

Me and my friends have watched 142 episodes of Yugioh.

Ok, clearly I need to put this into context, so that you understand the gravity of this matter.

First, Yugioh is a children's cartoon from japan. It is about a card game. Now the important thing to note reader is since this is a children's show it has be exciting and shiny in order to draw in the attention of the wee kiddies. So as you can imagine many of the cards come to life, and magic is involved.

Now while I was in Malaysia I actually got a hold of the entire series of yugioh, which is over 200 episodes long. This is a double edged sword. On the one hand I everything there is super cheap and I bought the whole thing for like £10-20.... But there is another price a normal tourist would not be aware of. Anime from Malaysia usually comes in it's original language, so the entire series is in Japanese, but so far this is a good thing... cause it's not been edited (the English version of yugioh was edited very heavily, like the guns were taken out... and the insanity). Luckily it comes with subtitles... But reader... English is not a Malaysians first language... if they know it at all in some cases.... This is important to note for later.

Ok, so I need you to try and picture this scene in your mind. There are two people standing apart from each other just like a scene from the wild west, but instead of guns they have these big metal/plastic things on their arms. These things on their arm holds their deck, and one of the contenders draws a card and places it onto one of the five slots attached to the thing. Now a holographic image of a monster appears.

It is pretty scary, but don't worry... no one is in any real danger.

His opponent also draws and begins putting cards down, and the game begins proper. One of the player gets attacked by one of the monsters and falls down from the blow even though it's a hologram. The sound Tch is heard often.

Now the players are encircled by a dark cloud of vile power, and it soon becomes clear that the players very souls re on the line. The monsters are no longer holograms and are now very real. All seems lost, but then a light shines... a light called friendship... and good wins over evil.

You got it pictured right? Now imagine them explaining the rules of this game in a language you don't know. Alright, now imagine you have a translator with you. The bad guy says something at one of the women in the group of friends and you look to your translator. He smiles back at you and says "He's saying they have to burn her cause she's pregnant".

Ok, your worried now.... I can understand this, but stay where you are! You can get through this!

For awhile you just stand there, trying to make sense of the situation before you. To your horror and relief you release that the translator meant to say possessed... and merely confused the two words... because in a way... they are vaguely similar in meaning.

Now reader.... I want you to imagine this scene going on for 28 hours, and you will have barely scratched the surface of suffering I have put myself and my friends through. Malaysia does this funny thing when it subtitles something.... they get it wrong.... but in a hilarious and brain damaging way.

A couple of days ago me and my friends watched a film that was terrible. I can't really describe to you you how terrible this film was.... But let me try and sum it up... There was at least 1 hour of the same chase/murder scene repeating over and over, and at least 10 to 20 mins of song. I did that to my friends, just imagine what I do to people I don't like? Anyway, the point is... my friends who had not watched Yugioh were appalled and sicked, and swore (Again) eternal hatred for me... while my friend who had watched Yugioh with me found it rather amusing.

What I'm trying to get at here is that these subtitles have made me and my friends immune to psychological torture. Barny song 24 hours a day? Ha! I'll sing along. Waking me before I sleep? Ha! I can never sleep again.

Don't believe me? Here's a little preview.... and this isn't even the worst example, the subtitler actually changes every now and again and this was one of the better ones:

The best example so far is whenever the Blue eyes white dragon appears. Now you can see its blue... they even say its name in English, yet all the subtitlers are entirely convinced that it's Green eyes white dragon.... and 142 episodes of the contrary have not deterred them from this.

That's kinda easy to deal with, but when they start using words that don't even fit it begins to kill your mind. Its not just that the subtitles themselves are totally insane, it's also because the series is as well. It's well F***ed up and one of my friends favorite games now is to say "This is a kids show!" whenever something really disturbing happens.

I have in my possession 72 hours of this. Me and my friends have to psychically take this in dosages. So far we've raised our tolerance to about 3 hours, any more and our sanity begins to crack.

I bring this up because this not something you'll find on the Internet, no these days you actually have to be good at subtitling to get anywhere on the web. This my readers is a sealed treasure, cursed by ancient monks and condemned by the Pope... and only the truly devote may look upon it. I feel one day I will do a charity event... I shall gatherer volunteers and people will give us money to watch this non-stop for a number of hours... depending on the donations.

Your probably wondering, that doesn't sound to bad for me... after all I bought and watched it willingly.... Well the friends who have watched it also did so willingly... I have other friends who have walked out of the room because it was on. Imagine what it would be like to force someone to watch this against their will and better judgement.... in the name of charity....

Now that, I would most certainly pay to see.

Lets Watch Heroman: Part 1

In the deep reaches of space....

Denton: Hello? Hello? Any aliens out there? Hello?

Alien: Sir! We've discovered a transmission from another species! This is our first contact! What should we do?

Villain: INVASION!

Alien: That's a bit rash don't you think? I mean we don't know any-

Villain: INVASION!

Alien: We're not going to have a repeat of the moon incident are we?

Villian: F*** that moon! It looked at me funny!


Wow, Robot toys are expensive.

Julie: *Sigh* I want a robot.

Shop owner: Julie! Stop daydreaming and go to school!

Wow, her room is really boring... Like.... get a poster... something!

Lina: Hey Julie!
Lina: So ur... There's going to be this party.... would you like to go with me?

Julie: Can't. Doing my hair.

Lina: Ohhh! You always brush me off like this!

Will: Get away from her Lina!

Oh my god its a giant duck! Oh no wait.... Its just his silly hair.

Will: Your turning my sister into a lesbian! And since this is set in the US of A that means we don't like your kind round hare!

(As a side note Will is very protective of his sister... Like overly.... Like so much it's super creepy)

Psh: Leave her alone!
Will: Tch, come on Lina, we out.

Japan has a very strange idea on how bullying works in America.

Julie: Prof Denton?
*Rape face*

Denton: I've done it! I've made contact with an alien race!

Julie: Ok, I'm gonna ignore the fact that that's impossible to do, since you only have a couple of radar dish's.... but isn't contacting another race dangerous?

Denton: Oh it'll be fine... It's not like they'll be a race of people who randomly blow up moons.


Being young and rich is great!

Grumpy driver: Ha! Take that childhood!

Julie: He threw it away so its mine!
Psh: Man Julie, you've got to stop going through people's trash.


Bajoompop.

Villain: What was that?

Alien: Urr.... Nothing?

Villain:.... Did you just send out a wave of radiation that can give people super powers?

Alien: No.... Maybe....

Villain: Damn it! We need to find a new fuel source.... one that doesn't send out rays of superpowery whenever we jump somewhere.

Julie: No! The rain! It'll become more broken!

Zeus: Take my powers little robot!

Julie:.... Does that mean its going to have sex with a duck now?


Julie: Ah! My hand! It's eating my hand!

Julie: And your a giant robot now... I guess that's kinda cool-

Julie: Oh god! Kidnap!

Julie: Wow.... He does not like hybrids.

Julie: Oh... I guess you saved those people.... That's cool also.


Drum role please....

How many of you realised Julie is infact a Joey? That's right, she's a boy. If you think it's hard to tell from these pictures just actually watch the anime, he's voiced by a girl.... which is just.... *Sigh*.

Hype: Anime Spring 2010

Oh boy.... You know, I've largely stopped watching anime all together. I watched a few anime movies but they don't really count... and it's not because I'm sick of it, I never get tired of a good story... it's just it's all been terrible... so let see what the hell's in store for us....

Heroman
Well, that's kinda weird. If I saw the picture by it's self I'd call this just a spoof anime... But I'm not actually sure. Most likely it'll be full of cheese and unintentional hilarity.

So that's actually pretty old school.



Hakuouki Shinsengumi Kitan


Ok, so, he looks like a pimp. It's about some girl looking for her dad when she sees some guy turn into a demon thing... and I guess it might be her dad's fault or something? Could be interesting I guess.

Rainbow
Lets see.... This one is about... seven dudes that get locked up and tortured and then how they live their lives after there released...

Huh. That... That actually sounds interesting.

Iron Man

I guess this could be good.


Ichiban ushiro no daimaou

This is about as generic as you can get... I mean its about a strong male lead, with a demon, robot girl and all the other-

Wait... What was that last one?



IRON MAN?!

Holy shit this looks good! It's coming out now? F***.... I mean it looks beautiful, and we already know Japan knows how to do robots so the action should be great.... If it's got a good story that'll be a bonus.

Oh f*** I hope they include the Mandarin, that would be awesome.



-----------

W-what the hell the Japan? When did you... start releasing good things again? You didn't read my letter did you? You didn't actually do it did you? That's not possible...

Is it?

-----------

B Gata


"Yamada is a virgin high school student who dreams of having 100 casual sex partners. However, she ends up targeting and pursuing only one boy."

It's nice to know your still insane Japan...

I guess.....